Mildly Infuriating

So you can't talk online and you can't go out on a bike to meet your friends.

Just sounds like they want kids to be miserable. 

As an Australian the problem is largely what you imagine.

An unregulated industry brought in bikes that were closer to motorbikes than pushbikes and parents didnt do their due diligence on it. The same industry also brought in a huge amount of bikes that were perfectly sane when stock but were literally childs play to turn into something closer to a motorbike. Now the vast majority of kids went out and did kid shit and they were slightly annoying, a not insignificant number of them got hurt, but there was no real outcry.

The govt as governments are want to do reacted way too fucking slowly in putting sane limitations on what could and couldnt be sold and hold manufacturers and importers accountable. In their defence partly because 90% of them are coming out of china and the govt arent idiots in that they know how easy it would be for an importer to find a new frontman and the Chinese manufacturer to rebrand and force them to play whackamole and partly because they are very popular among adults and people who arent riding them like dickheads AND they didnt want to look anti-green by discouraging people to find car alternatives.

But Here come the fuckwits like takeovers are to "legitimate" street racing on quiet backroads, kids started doing wheelies through shopping centers while filming it for the gram, deciding it would be funny to absolutely destroy the grass and surfacing on local sporting fields and swerving in and out of traffic in 80 zones.

Its not that the cops dont care, the cops know what the reality is that if they start trying to catch them, the kids will run and eventually someones "good boy who never hurt anyone and loved to laugh" is going "to be chased to his death over a modified E-bike and the police are the reason for his death" regardless of what prompted them to chase him in the first place.

All in all its a 3 layer shit sandwich.

Just ban teenagers. 🤷‍♂️

I mean banning teens seems a pretty good policy.

Cars have regulation.
Motorcycles have regulation.
Bicycles... used to have regulation but don't do that you anti-green scum.

So... regulation?
Is the vehicle specced and road-legal? Does it have a a license plate? Insurance? Is the driver licensed to drive that?
No? Fine the driver.
Driver's a minor? Fine the parents.

I'm not a fan of regulation and cops have better things to do, but i think the (heavy) penalties should befall the parents.

Seems like a pretty big logical leep to link the two things.

"Why aren't the kids going outside anymore?" "Why are there kids outside?!"

Let teens exist in public spaces for fuck's sake.

Australia, a prison state created for inmates, and perpetuated as such by their descendants. As a foreigner looking in, I think that Aussies would be best served by ditching the colonial prison mindset. You and the kids are allowed to have fun, if you ignore the specter of the Crown that created your nation.

...TLDR;

I know exactly how to solve this "problem" .... Convert the golf courses into bike tracks.

I dunno, can't parents just keep their kids in a box till they're 18 and can become productive, compliant wage slaves, like everyone else.

/s