I know many who woke up after attempting suicide. In every case I’m so glad they stayed here. A few have passed away by now but in different circumstances (old age, others). I know I’m just a nobody in the fediverse but I’m glad you’re here.
this post was submitted on 13 Jan 2026
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Heard. Hugs.
Aw, hope you're doing far better. Depression is deeply unfair, and in my limited experience I hate how it masks itself as clarity or certainty.
I'm a bit morbidly curious about this feeling you highlight, if you're willing to describe further. Is it weird like any these? Total guesses on my part, no intent to be insensitive so apologies if any come across that way.
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- "I shouldn't be here"
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- "Am I dead/dreaming?"
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- "Am I still me? / Is the world still the same?"
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- Drugs still in your system / everything hazy or woozy
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- Some conflicting combination of "Fuck, I'm still here / Yay, I'm still here"
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- Disappointment
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- Relief
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- Disassociation or out-of-body feeling
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- Ennui
EDIT: Added numbers
A mix of 1, 4, "fuck, I'm still here", 6, and 8.
Interesting, thanks. But damn, I'm sorry life has let you down so completely.
I don't expect you to believe me, but not all places and times are shitty. Some are pretty good even. If you can get enough distance between yourself and your current situation, you might find better options than ending it all.
Of course, if your own body is the main source of misery, that's pretty hard to escape so that's awful and I understand.
Well, my body is ONE of the issues. My family isn't also the best one, and I'm still - 18, so moving is NOT a option. People can also be jerks most of times.
I didn't expect anyone your age was on Lemmy. Glad to be wrong on that.
So there's a bit to unpack in what you said.
- Most physical ailments can at least be mitigated these days, if not cured/resolved. It could take a long time, but quality of life should at least be possible if you pursue it.
- A lot of people have shitty families. Obviously that's not good, but at least you're not alone in that. The good part is that as an adult you can mostly cut those people out of your life and define your own family.
- Speaking of that, you're right on the cusp of adulthood. Your life will almost certainly change drastically in the next few years. And you get to decide a lot of it. What feels like an eternity as a teen turns out to be a pretty short time when you have an older perspective. Once you're able to move out, you'll see.
- There are jerks anywhere you go, unfortunately. Best thing you can do is try to surround yourself with people who aren't. Caring, funny, delightful people are everywhere too, but you don't always see them because they're trying to avoid the jerks as well.
Care to elaborate?
Meaning like what goes through your head, what is the thought process, that sort of thing.
It's hard to describe, you're always with it on your mind and... Feels wrong to be up after that, like, "Damn, I almost died yesterday".
Does that stick with you? Does it change the way things look? Or just a "Well damn..." scenario and things go right back to how they were?
Just one day thinking "Damn", and following the next ones as if nothing happened.
Like, post suicide clarity? It's not something you wonna chase, is it?
I don't really understand the second part of your comment, but yeah, like a clarity. But it just lasted one day.
For the first part, people do chase that, so I'm asking if you would gets an addictive feeling to it, and want to replace it. And for the record, please don't. Hard for me to tell you otherwise, and yes, the world is going to shit, but it's not because of people like you, and we can't afford to lose another.