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A collection of some classic Lemmy memes for your enjoyment
Texting someone? This is the first time you're doing it. No text history ever.
Doing something that requires a thing? That thing is always new and fresh and has never been used because its a fucking prop.
Just lots of unrealistic things benign things in movies I never noticed when I was younger. Now it just pisses me off for some reason.
A building company using a prop shovel for some clip, except the shovel's lacquer got chipped so they decided to re-coat it in order to have a pristine shovel.
I have automatic chat deletion, so mine chats are empty
My biggest pet peeve is how fucking rude people are getting off the phone in movies. They just hang up.
I mean I yearn for that world but am painfully aware that it doesn't exist.
not in the movie Phone Booth
crime is investigated and doctors treat people
Your purse was stolen? We'll get two experienced yet flawed detectives on it with a full forensic science lab.
And no one is suspicious if I sit in a car outside their home for 7 hours. Eventually crawling away with a tyre squeal.
It's ok, just slouch down in the seat.
No one secures the neck strap on motorcycles or puts the key in. There is always a motorcycle with a helmet sitting on it with the key inside.
Similarly but even more nerdy is a car making one swerve on dirt, that requires switching traction control off. Top Gear did a bit on it where they were hired to record a chase scene for a movie, and insisted on the following shot;
“You have to hold the mode button for ten seconds to turn off Traction Control!”
cue ten quiet seconds of holding the button
When two people state at each other while talking for several minutes and one of them is driving.
I know someone who does this IRL. It's terrifying being in a car with them.
The first time shame on them, all other times shame on you. Unless you’re sad then have at it 😉
PUT. SOMETHING. IN THE FUCKING CUPS.
Beans, orbies, just make special weighted cups for sets. No actor in the history of acting has picked up an empty paper coffee cup and gestured with it as if it had something in it.
And while we’re at it.. in this the year two thousand and twenty five, how do we still not have prop ice that floats?
I learned recently that paper bags on set are made out of a different fabric material that doesn't make as much noise. It looks fairly good, but now that I know this I can never not see that every bag looks wrong and doesn't move correctly.
Someone pointed this out to me once, and now I can't unsee it. It drives me mad. Every cup, every scene... Weightless and fake.
PUT SOMETHING IN THE DAMN CUPS
And stop using the exact same coffee cup with a Greek blue and gold antiquity pattern for every single cop show. Is there one coffee shop in NY? Spiros Coffee?
Actually those things really are ubiquitous in NYC and environs.
So what, you're telling me you don't tilt the cup to be perpendicular for every sip?
we do, it’s just that thr propmasters invested in the old shit and haven’t upgraded their kit. also it’s silicon-y and not har plastic like the old sink-y shit so it’s harder to throw into a ziplock and store until the next show - it doesn’t last as long.
"Over and Out". No, it's either "Over" or "Out".
Close your fucking dust cover.
You salute when wearing a hat.
Forensic experts cover themselves completely, including a face mask and hood, so they don't pollute a scene. They're not there in full glam.
No, there isn't an alert for when your computer system is under an attack. It would go off constantly because every script kiddie is trying an attack 24/7. There also isn't an alert for when the firewall is penetrated because the whole point of the penetration is that you wouldn't detect it and they can quietly steal data.
Stealing gold instead? It weighs a lot. That gold bar you're casually carrying between your finger tips actually weights as much as a reasonable big dumbbell. (16 oz bottle / half liter of gold weights very roughly as much as 2.5 gallon / 10 liter of water or 20 pound / 10 kg)
And every time people are casually thrown into walls. Meanwhile people go to the hospital after a bit of a bad fall when cleaning the gutter.
The wall thing is even more stupid when the setting is Europe and the wall wouldn't give in even a tiny bit
The thrown into a wall thing had a nice subversion in Dragon Prince, mostly a kids show. A primary character, a knight, is batted by a dragon into a rock before being chased off. As they finish, they go to check on him, and he’s been permanently paralyzed from the neck down.
mostly a kids show... been permanently paralyzed from the neck down.
...did he get better?!
Lately, I find weather maddening. It’s either a non-issue mid-season light sweater weather, extremely consistent across all movies and films ever made, unless it’s a monsoon like downpour -but everyone is immediately dry unless it’s a plot point. Rarely, it snows, a snows that never settles, never gives any problems, never freezes anyone’s hands.
When I was like 10 I read a book about film production and it mentioned that in some movies they use shredded pieces of paper for snow and I've never been able to unsee it.
Like surely there's a better alternative that isn't asbestos
Just yesterday I saw a quick scene with such unbelievable snow it put me off trying to watch any further… not surprised it could have been paper
The number of people in arctic conditions without head coverings is maddening.
Mostly tv shows I’ve noticed this, but all the sets and homes look impeccable. Not a speck of dust, not a hint of mess. Even in shows where kids live in the home. Everyone JUST got their hair trimmed, they wear pants at home and always pop in on each other. But the lack of mess is maddening.
Also in period movies and shows, even the peasants are always wearing clean clothes
not sure if a tv thing or american thing but everyone wears shoes indoors
American thing i think. I visited family in the US from Canada and they looked at me weird for taking my shoes off when I entered their home.
I'm Chinese American, I remember when I visit relatives houses, I always have to take off shoes.
I think the last time I went, I just remember not doing it since we only stopped by for like an hour, but I'm not sure. I'm pretty sure I just got mad I was forced to go to the family reunion thing and I was probably irritated and didn't take off my shoes lol.
That's often true but not always, a good set dresser will make a mess if the scene and character calls for it. Typically only for "film d'auteur" though in the more commercial things it's almost always as you said.
It makes me appreciate shows like sopranos where you see an actual maid walking around to explain away the cleanliness, or episodes where Tony lives alone and the place is covered in laundry, pizza boxes and cereal bowls everywhere. Recently my wife has been watching “This is us” and it looks so sterile like a hallmark movie, I hate it.
Happy family time and joined breakfast with bacon and cereal every morning.
They don't get fat though since they never eat the breakfast.
You after cars in movies, if they actually had a crash:
When the movie is filmed at 27 frames per second instead of 26. Ugh.
The way they insert IVs. Your veins don't run perpendicular.
