Your honor, while my client may be guilty, he's also weally sowwy! and you should let him free
this post was submitted on 19 Nov 2025
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Note: this tactic only works for rich white boys
But he has such a bright future! 🥺
He's just misunderstood!
I wonder if a lawyer (nearing retirement and not caring about their own license) could actually do this to get their client a mistrial.
In criminal cases, yes. However, given the cause of the mistrial, the remedy would be to do another trial with different defense counsel and new jury. The facts and charges and evidence won't change; but if you or your client reallly messed up on the stand, this could cycle the jury and give you a second chance to present without implicating your client.
Civil cases, no. Incompetence of council is not grounds for a mistrial, and I understand why. People already get bled dry in civil court litigation as it is. This would effectively create a civil court filibuster, and you know big corporations and wealthy folk would exploit that to no end.
And I object. I OBJECT that he interrupted me while I was watching OW, MY BALLS! THAT IS NOT OK! I REST MY CASE.
You're supposed to bill them lots of hours anyways and try harder to get a better case next time.
I'm gonna pretend like they mean another drink