this post was submitted on 15 Nov 2025
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I went to an interview for a company in the west coast and I was in central time. the recruiter told me that they had core hours and I'd have some flexibility. one of the first questions was whether I was willing to work Pacific time, which I wasn't, especially since it wasn't the best paying job in the world. That interview lasted about 30 seconds.

[–] Juvyn00b@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 5 days ago

I actually did this. Maybe not within thirty seconds or so, but I was applying for a higher level position (above my current classification) at a collections agency. Was kind of sick of the grind but others thought I should be promoted, but interview was required first. I basically told them over and over that if they paid me the right salary I'd do the job. They were not impressed, and my then manager had a few words for me the next day. Oh to be young and not having a care in the world. I also knew I had a different career path in mind, so I wasn't interested in staying either.

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago

take a massive liquid shit in the trashcan and maintain eye contact the whole time while humming or singing "I've been working on the railroad".

[–] Jumi@lemmy.world 7 points 5 days ago (3 children)

Easy, just don't come at all

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[–] dumbass@piefed.social 9 points 5 days ago (2 children)

"Hey, were you at that BDSM orgy the other night?"

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[–] ryathal@sh.itjust.works 9 points 5 days ago

I'd like to disclose my disability from my time in federal prison.

[–] yuknowhokat@lemmy.world 9 points 5 days ago

Start by asking how many paid days off and what is the drinking policy on the job

[–] frog_brawler@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

I’ve had 4 interviews since June where I withdrew myself from consideration in the middle of an interview. I didn’t bomb; just decided the company wasn’t for me.

You can always just say “I don’t think this is the right fit, I would like to withdrawal from consideration but thank you for your time.”

Shortest interview was about 4 minutes, not quite 30 seconds, but it would have been about 30 seconds if he showed up on time. When a CTO shows up late, wearing a t-shirt from their home office while I’m interviewing for a 100% on site role, that’s business casual attire; I’m not even wasting my time talking to this dude.

[–] lazylion_ca@lemmy.ca 6 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Boring perhaps, but just get up and leave.

[–] DasFaultier@sh.itjust.works 7 points 5 days ago (1 children)

"This is exactly the kind of confidence we're looking for in a candidate. You're hired!"

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[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 6 points 5 days ago (1 children)
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[–] LORDSMEGMA@sh.itjust.works 8 points 5 days ago

Show up naked and shit on the receptionist

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 7 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

First few ideas: Talk about how I'm not really big on the whole "working hard" thing, immediately bring up and start ranting about weird political ideas, "I'm worth X, take it or leave it"

[–] Adderbox76@lemmy.ca 4 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Three words...

Cock finger puppet.

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[–] Hello_there@fedia.io 6 points 5 days ago
[–] lemmie689@lemmy.sdf.org 6 points 5 days ago (5 children)
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[–] GaryGhost@lemmy.world 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)
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[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I cough into my hand as I reach out to greet them and fart loudly as I make eye contact while shaking their hand.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I think a decent number of interviewers will overlook one fart. Maybe two. Depending on the volume, duration, viscosity, etc.

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[–] steeznson@lemmy.world 3 points 5 days ago

Tell them I could do the interview better than them

[–] handsoffmydata@lemmy.zip 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)
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