Is it? I still don't feel like I'm done mourning that man I used to be.
this post was submitted on 04 Nov 2025
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Mental Health
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Sometimes I feel like I dont deserve to, I made mistakes and I keep fearing I'll repeat them :(
Why would I throw out the baby with the bathwater?
This isn't helpful, but I have always found this phrase so funny for some reason.
I actually feel like I should actually hold on to the past, to remember the happy moments, the hope, the ability to enjoy things. To use this energy, the spirit, to reignite the "flame" of the engine that runs my brain, my "soul".
Fixing depression, for me, isn't forgetting the past, it's to continue the story that already has a good premise, continuing after being tired and temporarily letting the intern-ghostwriter take the pen for a while, but of course, the story is shittier, is not your story. So its to take back control, to find the energy, tell the intern (your brain's "autopilot") to go, and to write your own story.
Finish the character development, complete the story.
Your trauma, the backstory, your origin shouldn't be discarded, it is part of you, it should be part of your "character arc", your personal "evolution".
To me, losing memories is partially like death, never forget your past, use that to guide the future. Your past is what make you unique, it's what differentiate your from others. Accept the past, we have to in order to move on.
(Sorry I don't meant to sound like some weird philosopher writing some "flowery prose", I just don't like the idea of "forget your past")
I appreciate this post and I think it's really something to be said. We wouldn't be who we were without our experiences, both bad and good. If we didn't have these, we would be boring automatons. Our experiences are important to know and remember and grow from.
First, I am not a believer that trauma and hardships make anyone stronger. I think people throwing out that phrase are just using some flowery shit in the futile hope to believe that trauma doesn't permanently affect us in a negative way. Fact of the matter is that it does. But that's what makes each of us unique and that's ok. It's ok that we are all different and it's ok that we have struggles.
What has helped me in life when I'm in a hard spot is knowing that change always occurs. It's an inevitability in life. Sometimes it's a change for the better and sometimes it's a change for the worse, but it will change. And remembering that it has the chance change into something good like it has before is what helps me stay here in dark times.