Ask Lemmy

Like slipping into a daydream during a long day after a night with little sleep.

It's like a drug. Like when you're around a person you're attracted to and they'll say or do something that triggers shot of chemicals to your brain and all you can think about is how to get more of that feeling, which sucks if it wasn't intentional on their part and they're not interested in you because now you have to fight against basically a drugged state to shut that shit down while trying to be normal around them. Jerking off produces the same feeling but there's something missing that makes it less satisfying than being with another person.

Every time you try to focus on anything besides wanting to cum your brain redirects you to that desire.

It takes some mental control to stay focused when the horny flares up.

Even if you masterbate, it usually only subsides for a few hours before the intrusive thoughts start popping up again.

The intensity of the feeling died down a lot after puberty was done with me.

I've never been inside of a man yet, so I can't answer your question, sorry.

Well, it's hard sometimes.

Imagine being hungry, but instead of wanting food, you want to put your dick in something and instead of your stomach feeling pain, it's your balls.

Something like this:

The Simpsons - Homer gives Bart advice on women

https://youtu.be/ToTRAhmnxls?t=35

Never change, Lemmy.

Sex can be fun, but tbh a lot of it is pretty underwhelming, especially if you don't understand each other, put in some effort or have good chemistry. When my partner and I are on holiday or have lots of free time we often have sex three or four times a day. But that's not because it's always mind-blowing, most of the time it's just a fun thing to do together.

The 'horny man' thing is a bit different. There's a kinda of arousal and drive that isn't really about the objective fun of sex, but the sense of pursuit. There's people I've slept with where the specific sextime wasn't necessarily amazing, but I had a huge crush on them and the feeling of satisfaction from finally hooking up was amazing. For me, that's usually pretty innocent "oh wow, I didn't know they liked me!" , but for some guys it's about perceived status in quite a douchey Andrew Tate kinda way.

There's also the genuine instinctual drive aspect. Times where I've not had sex in a while, and been thinking about it a lot (like visiting a long distance partner) it can make me pretty crazy. Especially if you do edging or orgasam denial, you can end up in a pretty delirious place. When that has built up for a while I definitely get to the stage where I will do super reckless things just to get release. For me, that's never a big problem because I only get in that state through choice, if I'm not planning on having sex with my partner I'll just jerk off and the urgency is gone. But the experience has given me a bit of understanding of why men sometimes do terrible and destructive things because of sex. I can literally feel my brain shutting down, and all sense of consequences disappearing.

Imagine it differs per person, as with pretty much anything about us, a spectrum.

Would say it is mostly about having a real human connection filled with love and the good feels. Instinctual, comparable to how many women feel about 'needing' to have children. Consider it a base requirement for a fulfilling life, like shelter, food, water, air.

Some people appear to have enough loving only themselves in that way (or not at all); perhaps they just have not yet found the right person. Of the many ways to express love, this is one of the most basic.

I can answer this one pretty definitely as I have been on both hormones. Being in a horny spiral as a man has the same pull as being in an emotional spiral as a woman. It's hard to get out of until you fuck/interact with someone that makes you feel better. Men are just as emotional as women, but only with fucking, fighting, fleeing, and feeding (the parts of the brain that testosterone stimulates). Women are just as emotional as men, but with all of the other emotions that men don't usually have to deal with

You are acknowledging this is NSFW but didn't use the NSFW flag?

It’s a somewhat uncomfortable feeling tbh, like being pulled towards something. Physically, it’s slightly achy and stiff with the feeling of my heartbeat all over like a race is about to start. Emotionally, it depends. With someone I care about and who cares about me, it’s almost like because they’re accepting me in a state that I usually try to hide, there’s this almost sugary feeling of excitement. With someone casual, there’s a feeling of relief. Sustained arousal after the initial portion feels stiff, less intense, and kinda fleeting… but it’s also easy to get overwhelmed.

https://www.flickr.com/photos/36742159@N02/8105219985