this post was submitted on 04 Oct 2025
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[–] danekrae@lemmy.world 134 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

Just put a traffic cone on it. It's apparently much worse for american children to see a model of the male anatomy, than metal detectors, armed teachers and drilling school shootings.

[–] FenrirIII@lemmy.world 28 points 1 month ago

Puritan values at work

[–] ronl2k@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Just saw off the top part of it so it's no longer seen as a dildo. No need for a lockdown.

For real.

Grab a saw from the groundskeeper, hack it off as close to the floor as possible. Put a traffic cone on the stub.

10 minutes work tops.

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[–] frustrated_phagocytosis@fedia.io 65 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Dear God that is an expensive prank! The prices on those are insane.

[–] notoftenthat@sh.itjust.works 34 points 1 month ago (2 children)

There's some great bargains on Facebook Marketplace

[–] spankinspinach@sh.itjust.works 28 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I don't... I don't think we want youths buying those used

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago

To a lesser extent, I don't think we want anyone else doing so, either.

[–] bobs_monkey@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 month ago
[–] Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"3rd hand dildo" does not sound appealing.

[–] IsoKiero@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 month ago

But that's an awesome insult. Or a grunge band name if you lean that way.

[–] daggermoon@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

I like that you know the price of a 3-foot dildo.

Edit: I looked it up out of curiosity. It's 1,035 CAD. You wasn't kidding.

[–] kreskin@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Heres a 2 footer (well, 60 cm, close) on aliexpress for $33.32 USD. (without shipping) https://www.aliexpress.us/item/3256806204843239.html

So you can get 30 of these instead of a single 3 footer. Seems like a better deal to me.

[–] daggermoon@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

It don't got the girth though.

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Common knowledge, really.

[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 38 points 1 month ago

It’s silicone or whatever material? Slice it off at the bottom and put a “wet floor” cone over the remains so people don’t trip? No need to lock down the school over a funny prank.

[–] guynamedzero@piefed.zeromedia.vip 33 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Jesus christ that's really funny. Also God damn that school is pathetic if they didn't think of just cutting it and putting a cone over the remnants until they could properly remove it

[–] slaneesh_is_right@lemmy.org 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Americans would rather shoot everyone who's seen it than risking anyone becoming gay

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[–] shneancy@lemmy.world 24 points 1 month ago (2 children)

lube is pretty easy to clean off with just water. i'd have used oil, so that whoever tried to remove it would have to get ready with a bucket of soapy water and then had to rub it up and down

[–] RubberElectrons@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Someone hasn't tried silicone lube before..

[–] StopSpazzing@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Silicone lube on a silicone dildo would melt it, last i heard.

[–] shneancy@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

it would indeed. oil wouldn't be the best for silicone long term either, but silicone lube on a silicone dildo would start melting it short term. though tbf, a yucky sticky dildo would also work as a park

[–] RubberElectrons@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

True, but a toy this size is likely TPR for cost reasons. Totally fine with silicone oils.

[–] JaymesRS@piefed.world 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Oil would be more likely to break down the silicone it’s made of and would make it have a shorter useful life.

[–] lengau@midwest.social 23 points 1 month ago (2 children)

What do you think the expected lifespan of this dildo post prank was?

[–] JaymesRS@piefed.world 13 points 1 month ago

I haven’t kink shamed anybody in the past and I’m sure not starting now.

[–] Tangent5280@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Depends on which staff member takes it home

[–] bryndos@fedia.io 14 points 1 month ago

No, the school had to admit to a massive cockup.

[–] manchicken@infosec.pub 7 points 1 month ago

I love this so much.

[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

I like that idea. It is not yet on the ever-growing list if forbidden pranks.

[–] hanrahan@slrpnk.net 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] elephantium@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

A tremendous cock up!

[–] hOrni@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (8 children)

Why does a 3 foot dildo even exist?

[–] sudo@lemmy.today 19 points 1 month ago

Ask your mom

[–] ynthrepic@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You'd be surprised the challenges some deeply inspired creators do for views.

I was linked on an R18 sub at one point. Someone else asked (for a friend of course) and I had a look (strictly for science of course). And yeah... Even in the front end. Maybe not 3 feet (that's strictly reserved for the back end) but... Wow. Surely it isn't worth it. Maybe it feels good? The science continues.

[–] lengau@midwest.social 6 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] notoftenthat@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 month ago

Sweet summer child... bless your heart.

[–] CaptainBlagbird@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Quite an expensive prank, that thing costs $1400...

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[–] Bennyboybumberchums@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

I came across a video a while ago... I really wish I hadnt. But, yeah, people are weird about putting things up their arse. I can only assume that later on in life, they'll be needing to wear nappies 24/7.

[–] HugeNerd@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 month ago (3 children)
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[–] thatradomguy@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

You just had to set him up. Now look what you did.

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[–] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago

I'm calling it now. An episode of South Park that does the Uvalde shooting, but instead of shooting, it's a gigantic dildo being paraded through classrooms or something. Everything played straight, but no killing, just kids hiding terrified behind tables, and a selfless teacher sacrificing herself when faced with a giant silicone dong, etc.

[–] Mynameisallen@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 month ago

No active shooter or cooter

[–] thatradomguy@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Damn right it was hard. lmao

[–] kreskin@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"hard" is one thing, "very hard" is not good.

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 4 points 1 month ago

The cock is locked, so your education is blocked.

[–] 6stringringer@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 month ago

That flooring was hard on all the students.

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