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About guys feeling bad today (lemmy.today)

submitted 2 months ago by 1984@lemmy.today to c/general@lemmy.today

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Im not a young guy, and I grew up way before social media. When I was a teenager, a web page had animated gifs and blinking text. :)

But ive noticed that there is a lot of videos about young guys feeling bad. Like they have difficulties growing up and getting confidence in who they are, because the job market sucks, dating has become very hard for a lot of average looking guys, and its just a lack of hope for the future.

Would you guys agree with this? How many of you are feeling quite like shit actually?

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[–] Flagstaff@programming.dev 0 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

a lot of videos

And what about all the private men and women who aren't uploading videos? I know women who are equally suffering who would never, ever upload such a video. Would you?

It sounds like there's a lot of bias in this viewpoint based on publicly expressed content, which is always of certain personalities who are willing to put themselves online; there are many more who are unwilling, but that doesn't make their experiences less important. If anything, they're the more significant ones versus these showmen showcasing their suffering, some of which could possibly be fake.

[–] 1984@lemmy.today 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

It was an example, because ive seen videos. That doesnt mean that people without videos are less important. Is that what you read into what I said, that only people with videos are important? Thats kind of funny in itself, that you see a thread about something and goes full "whatabout this and that" inside it.

You also do that if you read a book or watch a movie and if it doesnt include everyone you care about, you mail the author and ask why his book didnt include what you were hoping? :)

I think its ok to have a thread about how males are feeling without including women in it, dont you? Why do they have to be included in my thread? Are you deciding what threads i should create? Clearly you have some of your own control issues. Trying to tell people what they should discuss. :)

[–] Flagstaff@programming.dev 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

You can discuss whatever you want. I wasn't "hoping" or not hoping for anything; I'm only saying that I don't agree with your view because you are reacting to videos online, which only give a small, unrealistic picture of the real condition of humanity in this subject matter.

Also, on a personal level, no, I don't usually feel like this (to answer your last question). If I do, I try to brush it aside and focus on self-improvement, because pity parties are rarely healthy.

[–] 1984@lemmy.today 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Well, videos online is what ive seen, but im sure there are blog posts or social media talking about this topic also (but I dont use ordinary social media like Facebook, twitter, tiktok etc, I believe they are mentally unhealthy).

Anyway, regardless of what media we have seen this in, it seems to be a problem. But you know what? Its normal to feel depressed. Just look around. People who work are often sad about how their life is just about working, and then Netflix a few hours in the evening before the meaningless job starts again.

People who dont work are often sad about that as well, and want to work and have money. Its quite a fine balance in life to find that zone where you are happy and have what you need. Its not easy for most.

Then you have people with relationships and they are unhappy because of their partner being a shit person. Then you have people who never gets to have a relationship and they are sad about that.

I mean, its just so much all the time. I dont think almost anyone is happy, specially as long as they have to work. They look forward to retirement and maybe thats also not what they think, once they get there.

[–] Mighty@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Your statements are conflation very different things and mixing ideas. Figuring out who you are is not the same thing as having difficulties with dating.

This line of thinking will get you in very weird niches of the internet.

I also don't agree 100% that this is a "young guys" problem. Alienation is universal. But (white) cis men will find a way to make it about themselves.

I am also an older man. And yes I am depressed and often feel lonely and alienated. But the more I talk to people, the more I realise that this is an (intended) effect of hyper capitalism to separate us and to make us weak and lethargic.

So, please make this into two or three separate questions.

Short and "easy" answers will always be wrong

[–] 1984@lemmy.today 1 points 2 months ago

Im sorry to hear you are depressed. I was once too so I know what its like to feel like that.

And yes, its a intended effect. But I dont think I will take your suggestion to change my post. Because one thing that is really important in this life is to not try and be so controlling. It will definently make you miserable to try and make things exactly the way you want it. Because other people have their own opinions about things.

You can affect how you are towards others though. That you can control. Its actually the only thing you can control. And how you react to what others do.

But I know, when being depressed, everything feels pointless.