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I don't understand how we've become so dumb that we simply can't turn a knob for gas and strike a match for a flame. Or, well atleast dumb enough to accept these kinds of shitty products on the "free market." I understand having convenience in your life, but at the cost of this? AND a higher price all for some "super smoke" and "timer" option.
Is this the technofeudalist dream? If the next big thing in smart tech is to add ai to grills to "get the perfect sear" or whatever, just kill me.
Why does a grill need a screen and buttons? Maybe I'm living in the stone age, but what I call grilling involves putting charcoal to a flame.
It's a smoker, with a port for a temp probe in the meat.
When you smoke something for 10-12 hours it's nice to get temp readings from wherever. It might also have automatic control for temperature management.
Why that needs to be connected to the internet is an entirely different matter though.
So you can get updates while you are at work.
That's a pretty basic program with simple software needs.
If the programming is such shit there is a chance they need connectivity to update it or patch the code once it's gone into production, it might be best to look into another product.
When you want to intergrate your smoker into homeassitant so you can adjust it from the office.
I'm an IT nerd but they could not pay me to buy a grill that requires software updates. What a bunch of nonsense.
Pay me? Fuck yes, I'll rip that crap out and replace it with a couple of relays or maybe get fancy and arduino -> home assistant.
I'm betting that someone pay a LOT extra to get that garbage though.
Sending a temp updates to your phone so you don't have to be standing near it the whole time is a nice feature.
Grill, Dehumidifier, Air con, Fridge, Dishwasher, Washing Machine, Lightbulbs, Ovens, Doorknob…
None of that should be smarter than "press button, get action".
I once wondered why the fuck an oven should need WiFi.
Then last week I was stuck in a traffic jam coming home from work, and took 2 hrs to do what should've been a 1 hr drive. (45km distance)
Then I had to make dinner, and I had such little time to have dinner, clean up from dinner, shower, walk the dog, and settle down for bed for work in the morning, I was angrily wishing I could preheat the oven while I was on my way home from work. That's when I realized the reason for a WiFi oven.
Also, being able to say "hey Google lights out" when I'm tired as fuck about to go to bed and the light switch is on the other side of the room opposite direction from the bedroom, is nice too.
Actually, as someone who has little free time when not stuck at work or in traffic, I'm probably more likely than the average person to appreciate things having wifi.
Doorknobs though, I'll draw the line there so we can both at least agree on something together
Or we could just have better wages and shorter work weeks.
A lot harder to buy that at the store unfortunately.
I'm worried about anything that can be controlled through a third-party online service. The amazon doorbell thing is a prime example of what can go wrong, but it can be more subtle, too. And I'm not even talking about obsolescence. Frankly, I'd still be worried if it was a self-hosted, properly configured system where I'm the only one with a legit access.
I understand the convenience of all this. I also have to deal with the risk balance of security vs convenience, which causes me to not tolerate that "too tired to go across the room" justifies "a third party have full control over my doors, lights, heating, ovens, etc." (not shooting fire at you, see this as a generic example).
The bare minimum would be a fully self-hosted solution, which is possible, although difficult because hardware manufacturers don't always play nice. And even then, proper, secure setup and maintenance is not for everyone. In the meantime, yeah, I'll have to move myself when I want to turn on my dishwasher.
Though I'll admit, I have some lights that are controlled wirelessly… my old phone have an IR port, and they have IR remotes… Technically, an attacker could probably turn them on/off/change colors from behind a window :D
Connected HVAC can be pretty damn great depending on your house. It’s changed my energy usage a lot, and I like being able to adjust temps without walking downstairs in the middle of the night. Although having your thermostat lose cloud support ever 10-15 years is pretty shitty.
Connected doors are also great for handing out virtual keys and ensuring that stuff is shut and locked when you’re away.
I'm warry of electronic, wireless, and sometimes third-party cloud dependent services, having a say in how I lock my doors or control heating.
I'm a bit old fashioned, but also have to work with solutions where considering the consequences of a compromised entry point is vital. I'd be ok with a way to check that the door is locked, but something that can lock (and, so, unlock) my door remotely? Not a chance. At least, not for a place a value.
Iirc, these grills are wifi connected so you can remotely monitor and control temperature. Makes sense if you are bbqing something that is gonna be in there for 12 hours. But then, you kind of lose one of the benefits of bbqing - sitting next to a grill and drinking beer with your friends for 12 hours.
I have a Traeger and saved $200 because it was the model without WiFi.
I made a delicious turkey breast on Independence Day
Jokes on you when they invent a new kind of meat your grill can’t cook
DRM Ribs. The Salmonella will not die until you pay for Traeger's $19 a month subscription
I will never own a grill that has to connect to wifi. In fact, I actively avoid any appliance that adds unnecessary IOT functionality.
Probably a security update to try and keep it from being part of a botnet maybe? What would work better though is never connecting it to a network or even better, just don't make it smart for no dam reason, lol.
I have a Christmas tree with built-in LED lights where I can change their colors and make patterns and animations. Every year I get it out I have to do a firmware update on my Christmas tree before I can use it 😂
If they are WiFi controlled that’s actually a good thing, as it sounds like the manufacturer is still supporting it & hopefully updating it to prevent security issues & hacks!
But this is also why I personally try not to buy WiFi enabled gadgets unless it really needs to be remotely accessible.
I have a friend who's really big in to smoking meats for hours and hours and days at a time. He loves this kind of thing because he can monitor the smoker without physically being in front of it.
I think he's crazy af for involving the damned internet in it but I guess it is what it is when you're "cooking" something for 9 hours.
I guarantee this update didn't drop on Thanksgiving. Photo OP probably hasn't turned it on since their last BBQ months ago and is just noticing - on Thanksgiving - that an update pushed a while ago that they now need to install to get started.
Pro tip: Start up your electronics a day or two in advance of events, so you can pre-patch anything that needs it.
Source: Former IT guy here, who had to ensure that updates ran at the most convenient times possible for thousands of users. "Patching Tuesday" is an unofficial but well recognized "holiday" for IT folks. It's not first thing Monday morning, which could throw off the workflow for the week, but it also gives the max amount of time to resolve any issues that patching might cause, so we (hopefully) don't have to work through the weekend.
Pay attention to when your stuff requires patches. A lot of the time, it'll pop up on Tuesdays.
Source: Former IT guy here, who had to ensure that updates ran at the most convenient times possible for thousands of users.
I used to work at a theater owned by a city. So we used the city’s IT department, and their network. During COVID, live-streaming took off. The city wanted us to install a streaming video package. After a month or two of installing a full video system, we finally get around to testing the stream. Boot up AWS, and it runs fine. We’re streaming in full 4K. Great!
So the show rolls around. It’s Saturday, 7:30pm start time. We start the show… And the stream instantly shits the bed. Like we go from full gigabit upload speed, to less than a single megabit. We’re lucky to get 56kbps speeds. We’re getting one or two frames per second if we’re lucky.
Sunday, we test the stream ahead of time, and it works flawlessly. Show starts, and the upload speed drops to fucking dial up.
Monday morning rolls around, and IT strolls in to check their tickets. Sees a hundred from us, and gives us a call. They run a test on their end. No issues. They run a test on AWS. No issues. They run a test on the fiber backbone between the theater and city hall. No issues. They call the ISP. ISP said they didn’t have any issues over the weekend. IT shrugs, and marks the tickets as solved.
Next weekend, same thing. We’re wondering if IT is automatically throttling us, or if we have a malicious user on the network. We’re asking about QoS, or maybe automatic port control kicking in when the stream starts. Monday rolls around, and IT marks it as solved again.
Third weekend, same thing. This time, the city manager’s office is getting calls from angry patrons who paid for streaming and can’t watch their streams. Monday morning, IT rolls up. They run some more tests, and still can’t find anything wrong. They swear up and down that it’s nothing on their end, and it must be something on ours.
After four months of this back and forth, IT finally admits that they have all of their maintenance tasks to run at 7:30 over the weekend. Every single computer, server, and fucking toaster connected to the city network begins their updates at exactly 7:30. Thousands of city devices, all singularly focused on devouring our upload speeds. Servers run off-site backups. Those backups consume all of the upload speeds for the entire city network. IT refuses to change the time, because “this is what works for us. It’s after city hall closes, so we don’t have any users who are affected. It hasn’t been a problem in the past.”
pro tip
I get it. I hate it, but I get it.
another pro tip from someone else in IT: see that appliance with the digital screen? fuck it. don't get it. get the old shitty one that's $800 less that doesn't have WiFi or non-tactile buttons. you know what doesn't need firmware updates? a charcoal Weber grill.
Pro tip: don't buy a fucking BBQ that connects to the Internet.
No appliances in general while we're at it
But supposed they invented a whole new kind of meat and your grill wasn't ready to deal with it? How would you feel then? Pretty darn silly, that's how!
the hazards of living in the burbclaves
poor baby. who grills out on thanksgiving? also my charcoal grill never does this
It's a smoker with wireless controls
Instead of having to keep checking on it for several hours, an app on your phone will show the temperature and allow temperature adjustments online
ok but why aren't you outside with a beer..pretty sure that's a part of the meat smokers law
...The sort of grill I will never buy.
There was a silly little movie in the 80's called "Maximum Overdrive", written and directed by Stephen King.
In it Aliens somehow cause machines to 'turn' on human beings and attack us.
They could remake that movie now but instead of Aliens causing the machines to attack people, it could be malicious 'hackers' that do it, and it would be more believable that the original film.
A grill should run on charcoal. It needs to get very hot and that's literally it.
There's a universe where I attach some electronic controller with a PID loop or something to a smoker, to maintain consistent temperatures via damper control. I'm not buying that off the shelf built into the machine though.