this post was submitted on 06 Jun 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 2 points 1 hour ago

Every coconut is a hamster to me too.

[–] Happyblonde@lemmy.zip 3 points 7 hours ago

"I have nipples Greg, could you milk ME?"

[–] scbasteve7@lemm.ee 14 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Coconuts don't give milk. They give water. We force them to give milk. They dont do it willingly.

[–] joel_feila@lemmy.world 12 points 13 hours ago

So coconuts are cows.

[–] LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.world 21 points 23 hours ago

If you see here we have the mammal known as a coconut:

[–] Squorlple@lemmy.world 10 points 21 hours ago

Ernest Hemingway has got nothing on “has hair. Give milk. Not mammal”

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 98 points 1 day ago

You know what? I’m convinced. Flawless logic.

[–] usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca 60 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Diogenes: "Behold, a hamster!" holds up coconut

[–] TargaryenTKE@lemmy.world 2 points 7 hours ago

There it is!

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 63 points 1 day ago (4 children)

I don't need a machete to milk a cow

[–] FooBarrington@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

.... I'll have to apologize to a lot of cows

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 22 points 1 day ago

I'm guessing you also enjoy your whipped cream ....

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

i mean it certainly makes it more expedient

[–] dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 day ago (2 children)

The re-milk value is much lower that way

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 15 hours ago

just get another cow? are you fucking poor or something?

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 4 points 1 day ago (3 children)

It's also harder to keep the blood separated from the milk.

[–] EmpathicVagrant@lemmy.world 2 points 12 hours ago

Milk is just blood that’s been repurposed. Mammals are wild.

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 15 hours ago

that's a selling point, the blood makes you manlier (no no, that's not hepatitis, MANLY men have yellow skin)

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 day ago

Reminds me of a terrible factoid I read a long time ago .... they feed young calves they raise for veal a steady diet of cow's milk mixed with liquefied rendered cow blood and other bio fluids.

We might not have the matrix or dystopian futures yet ... but we sure are on our way to building one.

[–] tanisnikana@lemmy.world 17 points 1 day ago

Speak for yourself.

[–] akintudne@reddthat.com 10 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Incorrect. It's a hairy milk carton.

[–] nailbar@sopuli.xyz 4 points 17 hours ago

Eww hairy milk

[–] elevenbones@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 day ago

Hmmm, very mammilian...

[–] Zachariah@lemmy.world 24 points 1 day ago (9 children)
[–] renzhexiangjiao@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 15 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Zachariah@lemmy.world 2 points 12 hours ago

check out that pair of coconuts

[–] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 15 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Not necessarily (platypus).

Biggest differentiator between the coconut and the hamster is the obvious lack of nipples.

[–] Zachariah@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

What also floats in water?

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 17 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] Zachariah@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago

breathes in oxygen
breathes out carbon dioxide
?

[–] Walican132@lemmy.today 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I’m confused if this is in support of coconuts being mammals as plants are living. Or you aren’t aware that plants are alive.

[–] Zachariah@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Do coconuts hatch out of eggs, or are they birthed directly from the parent?

[–] Walican132@lemmy.today 10 points 1 day ago

I… don’t know.

[–] Natanael@infosec.pub 6 points 1 day ago (5 children)

Seeds are equivalent to eggs

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[–] Shardikprime@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)
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[–] Outwit1294@lemmy.today 5 points 1 day ago

I am convinced

[–] doingthestuff@lemy.lol -2 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Not milk. Actually better. I don't drink titty juice.

[–] Mesophar@pawb.social 1 points 9 hours ago

I don't know if you're trying to make it sound bad, but calling milk "titty juice" makes it sound better. I don't like milk, but titty juice makes it sound refreshing.

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