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Ways to help someone in this situation? (lemm.ee)

submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

2 comments fedilink hide all child comments

someone I’ve known for a while has been quite hostile and closed off. they will get into relationships (friendships), and act like these people are the greatest in the world to avoid abandonment.

to not get hurt, they will later decide they actually don’t like these people and “sabotage” the relationship.

I believe that may or may not have happened to me. he is also quite bullied, so I feel bad for him. some people say there’s nothing I can do to help. he doesn’t use any electronics or socials, so I told his mom I wanted to be there for him.

She said she told him what I said.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Sounds like a problem that solved itself.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

I get that you want to help, but be careful with that. You are not a new pair of shoes to be thrown away when used enough.

Keeping a relationship in any form going, just because you want to help is not always a healthy relationship, it can easily turn into one party using the other party. I've seen it swing both ways and it's not pretty.

It actually sounds like that person needs professional help. If you are not a professional, don't get involved.

Do you have enough normal relationships on your own? And what will happen with those if you have to spend a lot of time on this particular person?

Wanting to help is a natural instinct, but if this person does not seem to build long lasting relationships with anyone there is probably a good reason for that. Trying to keep contact going with somebody like that could easily drain your energy and more. So please be careful.