Damn. The Onion must have a hard time coming up with headlines these days.
this post was submitted on 05 Apr 2025
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i hope he dies
I do you one better. I hope he dies slowly and in pain.
No. I hope he lives. Debilitated and powerless, but painfully aware of everyone's worst thoughts about him.
Unfortunately, the past has shown that he will likely never see the consequences of his actions because he's rich in the US.
Let's hope you're not disappeared to the gulag for saying that.
Well I just declared April as Trans Pride Month. Also I declare no backsies.
I'm also declaring April as free cocaine month. All the cocaine you can smoke, snort, boof, inject, or eat, free!
It won't solve anything. In April. But come May when we are collectively dealing with the most widespread cocaine hangover ever, we can really take stock of ourselves in a whole new light. The collective shame may be the impetus for.self reflection and real lasting change. Or the legalization of cocaine.
Win/win really.
I also declare April the 4th anti Trump month. You know, of the second Trump term. And there are many more anti Trump months to come.
Trans pride free cocaine anti trump month sounds pretty good to me.
So about the ending of the Ukraine war and the price of eggs? Got any time for those two issues or are you too interested in what's going on in children's pants?
It’s a distraction. He’s stepped in the shit by fucking with the economy and he’s using cruelty and culture war BS to fill up the news cycle.
and thats a good example of why criminals should have rights.
pedos are universally hated, so if you want to persecute a group you can just liken them to pedos.
trumps discourse reeks of just that here.
Don't ruin my birthday over this shit, you orange fucking asshole.