this post was submitted on 26 Feb 2026
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I’m a professional (executive) chef at a fine dining establishment. I have been working the the culinary field for over 20 years. I continuously run into the problem of maintaining a job for a prolong periods of time. I struggle to maintain a job for longer than a year. I am struggling from burnout, with the 40+ hours a week. The refusal to exploit or be exploited for labor. I have talked with my therapist continually about what I can do to fight this but it seems to be a continuous problem. I live in a rather small “big city” and feel like I am running out of options of places to work because of the city size. I would love to leave the culinary field but I don’t feel like I can afford it. With the sky rocketing price of school, than does seem like a viable option either. I have talked with my wife (who is also audhd) and we have discussed moving out of the country (US), but that also is a struggle in itself. I feel really alone, worthless and unfit as a human being. I feel like everyone else is playing a game that I don’t know the rules to and I am force to continue to play it. Have any of y'all ever struggled with this? Do y'all have any insight, that I might be over looking? I’m not looking to get rich, I’m just wanting to afford my bills and not work 60+ hours a week. Any and all suggestions would be appreciated.

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[–] Arcanepotato@crazypeople.online 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Do you know people in your line of work that have good boundaries? Can you learn from them?

I imagine hospitality is always hectic. My job is too. But there are people who are able to walk away when the day is over. I am focusing on building that skill. My work day ended an hour ago, but I'm just packing up. This is better than yesterday!

[–] Sugabooga@leminal.space 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

My line of work doesn't allow for good boundaries. There is an ask. I told my boss last week that I was burnt out, he told me well find a way to get it done. I found out this morning I have a private dinner for the CEO and bankers from 5-10 tomorrow night, plus another event at noon that I have to prep for so I'll be there at 9. Boundaries in kitchens only put targets on your back. I feel like that's why I'm having so many problems right now is I'm setting boundaries and they aren't being respected. I just feel defeated. I feel tired. I feel hopeless. I love cooking and I would like to think I am good at it, but I feel like I'm am exploited constantly.

I was concerned that this would be the case. I worked in hospitality for a few years and what you describe is what I remember. I did work at an event centre that was unionized for a while and that was much better. I imagine jobs like that are few and far between.

I hope you find a good path.