The Onion

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The Onion

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My Fellow Americans, We Are Richer Than Ever Before. Well, You Aren’t, but We Are (www.mcsweeneys.net)

submitted 1 week ago by sundray@lemmus.org to c/theonion@midwest.social

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[–] dhork@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago

My fellow Americans, a short time ago, we were a dead country. Now we are the hottest country anywhere in the world. The hottest, and getting hotter and hotter until it’s too hot to live here anymore. For you, of course. Too hot for you. I’ve got a great, ice-cold bunker. The best bunker ever.

No wonder he wants Greenland so badly, he wants to build the Fortress of Solitude