this post was submitted on 22 Feb 2026
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[–] sharkaccident@lemmy.world 18 points 19 hours ago (3 children)

This is all so stupid. It's the religious term "marriage" that they all fight for. Give it to them.

Instead government issues and recognizes contractual unions between two consenting adults.

Problem solved.

[–] noxypaws@pawb.social 4 points 5 hours ago

Give it to them.

Excuse me? Absolutely fucking not. You don't get to concede my marriage, and to be frank, fuck you for even suggesting it.

Instead government issues and recognizes contractual unions between two consenting adults.

Marriage is not a "contract". A contract binds two parties to an agreement. Marriage binds many third parties to be obligated to recognize it for things like hospital visitation, privilege to not be forced to testify against one's own spouse, "married filing jointly", and hundreds more examples.

This argument you're making right now is the EXACT SAME ARGUMENT I was having with people vocally and financially supporting band on same-sex marriage in the 2000s. I thought this braindead bigoted bullshit died in the 2010s, but here you are

[–] GlendatheGayWitch@lemmy.world 15 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Separate but equal is not the solution you think it is.

[–] DreamlandLividity@lemmy.world 9 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago) (1 children)

It does not have to be separate. No legally recognized marriage for anyone. You want marriage, go to a priest. No reason for gov to stick their nose in.

It is pretty much a violation of separation of church and state to take a religious term from a religious ritual like marriage and giving it legal weight.

[–] SkyeStarfall@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago) (1 children)

FWIW, I support abolition of marriage. It's weird that relationships are enshrined in law anyway, as many people do not fit into those rigid definitions. Whether it is because they do not wish to have a marriage/romantic relationships or otherwise have them be legally bound, or because they are poly and have more partners, and asking people to choose isn't great

In my head I guess marriage just feels archaic. Sure, it still got a similar purpose to how it was historically, but I question whether it's actually a good thing to keep

[–] GlendatheGayWitch@lemmy.world 3 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

How would you protect the rights that go with marriage if you abolish marriage? Those include the right to visit your spouse in the hospital, right to attend spouse's funeral, right to name spouse for inheritance purposes with legal weight, right to live in the housing you shared with your spouse after your spouse dies, right for your spouse to make medical decisions should you be unable to make those decisions, and others that I may be overlooking.

[–] Gaja0@lemmy.zip 1 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

You can do paperwork for these things. Marriage is convenient though. We need laws that just say "yeah I trust my friend/relative to decide for me" like a non marriage

[–] noxypaws@pawb.social 2 points 52 minutes ago* (last edited 49 minutes ago)

You can do paperwork for these things

Please explain to me how exactly could I "do paperwork" to restore, for example the spousal communications privilege and the spousal testimonial privilege that would both be taken away from me if my marriage was dissolved.

And do you really expect people to just start pre-emptively filling out paperwork to notify every single hospital they might possibly ever end up in after some major health issue, that would allow their spouse to visit them, particularly if it's a hospital in an area hostile to queer folks?

[–] astronaut_sloth@mander.xyz 2 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

This has been my position since around the time when same sex marriage was being fought in the courts. Interestingly, a family member who is super conservative and religious came up with this same idea back then, and I was on board. (Her reasoning was that she wasn't against gay people having the same rights but that marriage is a "holy" bond between a man and a woman 🙄)

I've found that it's a way to get conservatives/religious folks onboard with same-sex marriage if their issue is the word "marriage" and ensuring its sanctity (cue eye-roll). It simultaneously outs the bigots because they can't hide behind religious BS, and they show their hand. Back in the '00s and early '10s, I would use it as a litmus test of which Republicans in my life I would continue to associate with.

[–] noxypaws@pawb.social 1 points 43 minutes ago

a family member who is super conservative and religious came up with this same idea back then, and I was on board

Maybe that's a sign that this is not something that you should be on board with.

As a gay man, I find people like you to be MORE frustrating than the ultra conservative bigots. The bigots I expect to be bigoted. Folks who side with bigoted positions who might otherwise be decent, however, I have to really think hard about what's wrong with them that they allow themselves to be swayed to bigoted positions.