this post was submitted on 22 Feb 2026
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A still from the movie Demolition Man in which some police officers prepare to confront a character played by Wesley Snipes.

Top Text: Demolition Man: A movie which depicts a horrifying dystopia...

Bottom Text:...in which food is too healthy, bidets are common, and cops literally don't know how to assault a black man.

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[–] AWistfulNihilist@lemmy.world 5 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

It's funny that people always answer like this "I'm already so perfect at wiping i can't imagine it getting better."

In a family of 4 the toilet paper usage in my house dropped by 90%. A purchase of toilet paper now lasted nearly 10x the length, a direct cost savings and reduction in waste into the sewer system.

Just cause you have this incredible mastery of wiping doesn't mean the world does. I'm proud of you and how clean you wipe though, congrats. I just wish you could imagine a world where you didn't get your pants wet ever time you use a bidet.

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world -2 points 18 hours ago (2 children)

I just don't see how it would use less toilet paper if it's attempting to dry off a wet ass. Wet toilet paper sticks to everything, and barely takes away water.

Maybe if it was a paper towel it would get my ass totally dry without leaving bits of tissue paper on it, but that's not flushable and would end up being more paper usage for me.

I can imagine a world where my pants aren't wet. I just can't imagine one where it uses less paper or doesn't result in washcloths used only for drying anuses.

[–] AWistfulNihilist@lemmy.world 3 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

The way you've described it isn't how it works at all, they even have studies linking bidet use directly to something like a 2/3rds overall reduction in paper waste. Cleaning a little bit of water off your clean ass is ez!

You've literally constructed a reality which doesnt exist to avoid a bidet and you don't realize that's weird. It's super weird.

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 0 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

But like… how? If I try to dry my ass with toilet paper I don’t get dry and get toilet paper flakes everywhere.

I would love to understand the mechanics of this. Is it different paper?

[–] AWistfulNihilist@lemmy.world 1 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Listen I'm not here to explain to you how to properly clean your ass, especially when you are imagining a world where you can tell a bidet user by their wet ass mark.

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 1 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago)

No, my anxiety is that I can't properly dry my ass which will leave a wet spot. And nobody ever explains to me how they avoid it.

How does toilet paper drying an ass use less when anytime I try to wipe my ass when it's wet - after a shower, after being in the pool, etc - it's a pain in the ass and I end up using more. Toilet paper doesn't remove water, and just shreds itself. Do I need a blow dryer? Is there some special paper? What happens in a public bathroom with their cheap-ass paper?

What I do know is I'm not dropping a couple hundred bucks to find out that there isn't actually a solution and I just sort of sit there for fifteen minutes waiting for my ass to dry.

But it's cool, I'll just continue in my worldview because I'm not worth the trouble.

[–] cv_octavio@piefed.ca 2 points 17 hours ago

That's why you're not a full God though. Username checketh out.