Selfhosted
A place to share alternatives to popular online services that can be self-hosted without giving up privacy or locking you into a service you don't control.
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My recommendation is a VPN server to connect in from outside and have the default gateway for the VPN clients be a server that acts as a router that's set up with your commercial VPN.
That way, you can be outside on a phone or a computer, access your internal network and still have your public internet traffic go out through your commercial VPN without having to be able to configure multiple VPN connections at once (eg. Android doesn't support that).
Eg. 2 debian proxmox containers. One that runs wireguard (head/tailscale might also work here?) for external access and one that runs mullvad(or whoever) VPN cli and IP forwarding to be the gateway for your clients.
Only downside is the extra hops to send everything through your home network first rather than straight to the commercial vpn which is probably fine depending on your speeds. You can always disconnect and connect directly to the commercial VPN for faster internet traffic if you need to.
This is what i did but on the router. I have openwrt on the router. You can install an extension called PBR (policy based routing) on it.
Then you set up one wireguard interface that’s in the same firewall zone as your LAN to your lan and another that’s in the WAN. You can create policies to route any outbound connections (including the ones from your mobile client devices) through the commercial WAN wireguard connection.
In addition for family members access i set up a pangolin instance (kind of like tailscale but selfhosted) on a Hezner VPS and a very simple oauth provider (pocket id) for authentication. Ive got a bunch of users and nobody had any problems with the signup process after i sent them the invite link.
That way i can always be directly in my lan but other users can access without accessing my lan at all.