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My therapist says she might have to report my abusive family to the authorities. How do I avoid being reported so the cops don't show up and make everything worse? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by sprigatito_bread@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

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I (23M) started therapy today, hooray!

Only problem is, my family is too goddamn spicy. Once I got into my brother's (25M) increasingly homicidal fantasies and animal killings, she stopped me before I mentioned the threats he made to kill people and told me that she is a mandated reporter and has an obligation to report certain situations to the authorities.

I think adding police to the equation will make everything worse and immediately paint a target on my back because I am the only one who would ever disclose the violence that happens under this roof. It might result in me being homeless if I have to flee for my life. I live in Ohio and it's the middle of winter, so not a great start.

I wanted to work with a therapist because I grew up in this place and it traumatized me so badly that I'm scared of leaving this dump (not to mention, I have disabilities now that make that difficult). How much will I have to tiptoe around here? Is merely being afraid that someone will use violence against me reportable? What about if they fantasize about murder and domestic terrorism? What about violent crimes that they committed in the past? Or specific threats in the present?

Is therapy just not the right fit for this kind of thing? Did I end up with a heavy duty "fuck you" problem and therapy is just for "I feel sad sometimes" problems? It feels like bullshit to have to self-censor so much just because things were harder for me. How is throwing cops at the problem supposed to help when there is no universal basic sustenance or housing for the victims to escape to?

What are your experiences with mandated reporting, and how do you avoid triggering it?

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[–] Apytele@sh.itjust.works 5 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago)

My thoughts exactly. She kept you in control of this. What you do with that is up to you, although it sounds like maybe this is gonna be awful whether or not the authorities are involved so maybe you should just stop trying to own his bullshit and focus on keeping yourself safe. Start by trying to record his threats or get him to text them to you in writing. Start building up any little evidence you can get. Make a protonmail and email all the evidence you can find to it so you have timestamps on everything. If you can get a long trail of evidence it should make it easier to both get him arrested and might make you more eligible to receive services. A sibling can also count as a perpetrator of domestic violence in a lot of places. Ask your therapist what tips they have for helping you work on securing safe and stable housing and having an emergency safety plan. Any therapist should know how to make a safety plan, they're usually for the outpatient management of suicidal ideation but they can be used for other safety reasons as well. Personal and interpersonal safety can be pretty interrelated.