this post was submitted on 05 Feb 2026

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162

My therapist says she might have to report my abusive family to the authorities. How do I avoid being reported so the cops don't show up and make everything worse? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by sprigatito_bread@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

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I (23M) started therapy today, hooray!

Only problem is, my family is too goddamn spicy. Once I got into my brother's (25M) increasingly homicidal fantasies and animal killings, she stopped me before I mentioned the threats he made to kill people and told me that she is a mandated reporter and has an obligation to report certain situations to the authorities.

I think adding police to the equation will make everything worse and immediately paint a target on my back because I am the only one who would ever disclose the violence that happens under this roof. It might result in me being homeless if I have to flee for my life. I live in Ohio and it's the middle of winter, so not a great start.

I wanted to work with a therapist because I grew up in this place and it traumatized me so badly that I'm scared of leaving this dump (not to mention, I have disabilities now that make that difficult). How much will I have to tiptoe around here? Is merely being afraid that someone will use violence against me reportable? What about if they fantasize about murder and domestic terrorism? What about violent crimes that they committed in the past? Or specific threats in the present?

Is therapy just not the right fit for this kind of thing? Did I end up with a heavy duty "fuck you" problem and therapy is just for "I feel sad sometimes" problems? It feels like bullshit to have to self-censor so much just because things were harder for me. How is throwing cops at the problem supposed to help when there is no universal basic sustenance or housing for the victims to escape to?

What are your experiences with mandated reporting, and how do you avoid triggering it?

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[–] LordWiggle@lemmy.world 7 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Yes you did, your advice was basically, your brother is a serial killer and you should let the therapists contact authority, and you deserve better. How is that not a thoughts and prayers message.

"Was basically" and then make a poor summery.

First of all reading and watch documentaries about serial killer makes you the reverse of an expert, you are now filled with strong bias on serial killer profile, in dramatized version.

Yeah what do scientists and experts know about it anyway, right? With their dramatized scientific papers and everything. I bet any socccermom on Facebook knows better, right? *big_sigh

Second you don't know him or the situation he is facing, his asking for advice on how to stop his therapist to go to the authorities because that would according to HIM put HIM in a much worse situation.

I don't need to know him or the situation he is facing, all I know is that he's in a dangerous and toxic environment and he needs to get out ASAP. And I know his brother is a high risk for causing harm to him, animals and other people. So anything is better than to stay in this situation. A therapist is trained for these situations. The authorities too. Protecting such a harmful person is a danger to society. You don't want to be in a situation where the guy killed someone (or you) while you could have done something, like expose his issues and protect yourself.

But if you know so much better, what are your qualifications?

[+] slowcakes@programming.dev -9 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

You're not a scientist or an expert, they went to study the issue, several years. Do you think you can replace their knowledge with dramatized books or documentaries?

Can a person be abusive, psychopath, narcissist one or the other or in combination without being a serial killer, probably right? and what is the ratio of people who are one of those or a combination that is not a serial killer?

Is it 1/10, 1/100, 1/1000.. you don't know, because you are not an expert. You can be a serial who has not demonstrated any of those traits, because you can be a high functioning psychopath and people don't know you are one.

[–] innermachine@lemmy.world 7 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

You know who is an expert on when the police should be called on a potential serial killer? Probably the mental health specialist the OP is going to for therapy! Get a grip man killing animals and fantasizing about killing the family you live with only leads one place.

[–] slowcakes@programming.dev -4 points 3 hours ago (2 children)

Dude you still don't understand the issue, it's not illegal to fantasize about killing someone, you can't put someone in prison for fantasizing, which means the guy will be out on the street and maybe want to murder the person that was responsible for him ending up in a police investigation. Do you think the police will give some one around the clock protection?

And no a psychiatrist is not an expert on when to call the police or when not to, they are mandated to do it if they SUSPECT a serious crime, it's the law otherwise they will lose their license to practice.

Jesus fucking Christ

[–] LordWiggle@lemmy.world 1 points 9 minutes ago

Do you even hear yourself mate. When someone is extremily violent and makes death threats, they definitely need attention from the authorities.

You claim a psychiatrist or therapist isn't qualified to see when a person is mentally ill on a level of being a threat to society. You claim medical papers are dramatized books. Are you just trolling us or are you actually that deranged? Maybe get some therapy yourself mate.

[–] innermachine@lemmy.world 4 points 1 hour ago

I'm pretty sure your just rage baiting, but in case ur really that dense is your argument that if they get called on because they currently kill animals and fantasize about moving on to humans, u better not tattle or they will kill you? Isn't that kind of proving the point that maybe police should get involved because it's a matter of time until they commit murder? And if a psychiatrist isn't the mental health specialist on that then who the fuck is?