interestingasfuck

I genuinely wish to thank you for your input, I did miss that. I will take the time to say that my intention was mostly to relate my lived experience since I share a lot of empathyfor the socially marginalized having lived the mental helplessness that happens in those zones of the psyche, and what lead to my attempts at ending my life, which was the common and false assumption that depression is akin to the normal transient response to grief or dissapointment. False assumptions on depression being sadness, plus the fact that I experienced it as an alienation of the validity of my own suffering and jumped straight into "I am broken, let's end this shit because it hurts all the damn time".

This led in my false assumption that I was not depressed, well what the hell is then wrong with me? But yes there are a lot of other symptoms that I have felt and can be good basis to assume a depressive episode such as cognitive impairment, fatigue and the feeling of heavyness, negative outlook on prior subjective experiences (reviewing subjective events and constantly blaming yourself for all that happened), even physical issues like problems with digestion and the last one my memory is able to serve back to me would be the experience of being far away from your lived experience and physically regressing into your own cranium, like a sense of physical distance from your physical bodily agency. All were things I took years to go through thanks to my psychologist (an academic doctor with some damn good expertise) and I agree that my lived experience should not either be taken as an invitation to gatekeep and label what is and is not valid suffering since all suffering is valid and should never be judged.