this post was submitted on 25 Jan 2026
6 points (87.5% liked)

Relationship Advice

3547 readers
1 users here now

Welcome to the Relationship Advice community on Lemmy and Kbin!

The ideal place to ask for help with your relationships: romantic, friendships, we don't know what we are yet, co-workers or just human interactions in general.

Please make sure you read our rules before posting.

Rules:

Rules can be clicked on to be expanded.

1: Treat all users with respect. [!]

The goal of this community is helping OP and readers, not making fun of them. We are an inclusive community, any sort of disrespect towards ethnicity, sexual orientation, religion, etc, will not be tolerated.

2: Mark sexual content as NSFW. [!]

Posts containing mentions or descriptions of sexual topics must be tagged as NSFW. This includes descriptions of sexual acts, requests for advice in the bedroom, explicit descriptions of your body and similar content.

3: All posts must be a request for advice.

All posts must be phrased as a request for advice or as a question. Sharing of stories, personal anecdotes, or past mistakes are only allowed if they're followed by a clear and relevant request for advice with the situation.

4: Provide sufficient and relevant information.

Your title and body need to contain enough information relevant to your situation, such as ages, genders, and the relationship between people mentioned. For privacy-related concerns, we recommend using fake names and broad general locations.

5: Comments must be on topic and relevant to OP.

Comments must be directly related to helping OP, asking for more information, providing relevant resources or otherwise relevant to the thread. Off-topic comments and remarks, suspicious attempts at gathering personal data from OP or other readers, or bullying will not be tolerated.

6: This is a community for requesting advice, not moral judgement.

Moral judgements, "AITA?" and other similar questions are better served by different communities.

Reddit reposts are allowed.

As a temporary measure and the result of a poll, Reddit reposts are allowed following an expanded set of rules: https://lemmy.world/post/317115

How are rules enforced and bans applied?

For the most part, this community operates under the assumption that users are acting in good faith and should be given second-chances for their mistakes. Posts and comments with very light rule violations, or otherwise undesired but mostly harmless content, can be removed by a moderator on a case by case basis without any further punitive actions.

For violations of our rules, we follow a “3 strike” system as follows:

  • 1st violation: 72 hours ban + moderator warning via PMs.

  • 2nd violation: 1 week ~ 1 month ban + final warning via PMs.

  • 3rd violation: 1 month ~ permanent ban.

The goal of this system is making sure users are made aware of their behavior before being permanently banned, but also protecting the community from any rule violations.

Exceptions:

While the “3 strike” system will be applied to the majority of situations, rules marked with a [!] in the sidebar signifies a rule that, if violated in an intentional, malicious or significant way, can warrant an immediate permanent ban regardless of the number of previous violations. This includes severe disrespect to users or groups, dangerous content, and similar.

Related communities:

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Towards the beginning of the school year I was a lesbian, and now I'm a guy. Anyway, when I asked her out, Jess said she'd love to get to know me first, and asked me out after a week or so of "talking". Then, I found out she never even liked me and just didn't wanna feel bad for saying no, then claimed she was aroace. Someone online, however, said she probably just lied to get out of the relationship because she also never flirted with me but said she would kiss and sleep with boys. She then said she was straight and started dating a guy about a week later.

She asked me to be her English partner for an assignment recently just because I was the only one she knew in our English class. Sometimes she smiles and waves and says we're friends. Other times, she doesn't even bother getting to know me, barely talks, and says we're acquaintances. I also tried to start conversations with her and she just abruptly ends it and doesn't add anything so the conversation is really one-sided.

My mom thinks she wants to be left alone but then sometimes she acts like she likes me and wants to be my friend. We're not close enough where I can just ask her "What do you think of me?" she'd probably think that was weird and might lie to not hurt my feelings.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] ImgurRefugee114@reddthat.com 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

This comes free with the masculinity package you ordered. Welcome, and enjoy!

Only 2/3rds joking... Some people have a really hard time being direct. Sometimes it's because they don't know or feel confused, but that's more rare than you'd think. Gotta just take the hints. Step back, get some distance, take a breather. If she doesn't approach you later then that's that. If she approaches you and wants to be friends, then you can decide if that's what you want (but if yes: make damn sure you aren't going into it expecting more, otherwise you should just let it go)

It's okay to make a bold move and shoot your shot, but you gotta back up after that; give them space and control. For example, if she doesn't truly want to be friends and is just saying that because you're present and can't tell you to go away (for whatever reason), then it'll be bad for both of you if you try to make it really work.