this post was submitted on 15 Jan 2026
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“Flaps will just slow us down and add waste, so I had them removed. Also, don’t the Jews use flaps on their airplanes? Hmm, interesting. Also, I’ve replaced this aircraft’s navigation system with Starlink, you’re welcome.”
“Some people are saying that we’re out of fuel, there are some people on this plane who are very stupid and some I assume are smart people but it’s not true anyways, our tanks are full, filled to the brim and you know what? You’re a very nasty person for asking about the hose coming out of the fuel tank, okay? Some would say we have too much fuel, and it makes the plane heavy, you see? We have so, so much fuel. We have the best fuel, better than any fuel that anyone has ever seen and it’s of the highest quality okay? No one has more fuel than us and we’re going places with that fuel. We’re gonna go to every airport in this great nation. I love our nation’s beautiful airports and we’re gonna get to see all of them with the lovely amazing fuel that we have so much of and it’s so well guarded, our guards will always make sure no one can steal the fuel, not even me! Although if I wanted to I totally could but no one else is taking this fuel see? We have the best fuel and the best people guarding it.”
"I've replaced all avionic sensors with external cameras. I'm sure we'll be able to make up for the missing information through software somehow."
Patch coming in 2018! Promise!!