Selfhosted
A place to share alternatives to popular online services that can be self-hosted without giving up privacy or locking you into a service you don't control.
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Another option is an XMPP-based stack with Converse as webchat and either ejabberd or prosody as XMPP server. Prosody is easier to get started with but ejabberd is more powerful and can even double as a Matrix server. Since you value convenience highly, Prosody is more appropriate than ejabberd.
https://snikket.org/service/quickstart/ (uses prosody)
https://docs.ejabberd.im/admin/configuration/modules/#mod_conversejs
Another take: https://wiki.debian.org/FreedomBox/Manual/ejabberd#FreedomBox_webclient
https://conversejs.org/docs/html/setup.html
https://github.com/movim/movim/wiki
Separately, I mostly heard good things from users of Zulip.