this post was submitted on 04 Jan 2026
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Not are you ready to die. Are you emotionally prepared to die?

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No.

The mere thought that my life is going to end at some point makes me freeze up emotionally and physically. It exacerbates my depression to a point where I sometimes simply call in sick.

It's sad. There is so much beauty in this world, in our existence, in our universe and one day my body will give up because of old age or because of sickness, depriving me of it all.

There is so much that I haven't experienced, and it's not relativistic. I don't buy the BS that some people try to console me with when they say that the only reason that I value life and all it's beauty is because it's finite. F*ck you all. I genuinely weep at the sunrise, at the beauty in people, at the undiscovered knowledge of the universe regardless. I wish my life would never end.

For those of you that know the Japanese animated series Naruto, I feel so much compassion for Orochimaru, even though his human experiments were vile and evil.

My depression sometimes makes me want to stop existing to stop suffering from it, but that's a sickness and an internal struggle and it doesn't represent my true feelings. I don't want to die.