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Like you're thinking: put HAProxy on your OpenWRT router.
That's what I do. The HAProxy setup is kind of "dumb" L7 only (rather than HTTP/S) since I wanted all of my logic in the Nginx services. The main thing HAProxy does is, like you're looking for, put the SPOF alongside the other unavoidable SPOF (router) and also wraps the requests in Proxy Protocol so the downstream Nginx services will have the correct client IP.
Flow is basically:
With HAProxy in the router, it also lets me set internal DNS records for my apps to my router's LAN IP.
Thanks for the info, I kinda wanted someone to confirm that could before I sank some hours into it :)