Off My Chest
RULES:
I am looking for mods!
1. The "good" part of our community means we are pro-empathy and anti-harassment. However, we don't intend to make this a "safe space" where everyone has to be a saint. Sh*t happens, and life is messy. That's why we get things off our chests.
2. Bigotry is not allowed. That includes racism, sexism, ableism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, and religiophobia. (If you want to vent about religion, that's fine; but religion is not inherently evil.)
3. Frustrated, venting, or angry posts are still welcome.
4. Posts and comments that bait, threaten, or incite harassment are not allowed.
5. If anyone offers mental, medical, or professional advice here, please remember to take it with a grain of salt. Seek out real professionals if needed.
6. Please put NSFW behind NSFW tags.
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I've seen your stance on meetup and sites that profit from human interaction, and I have to say I have massive respect for that. Well done for sticking by your morals, too, especially when things feel difficult like they do for you right now. That's commendable, and not a lot of people work that way.
I moved away from all my friends and family just over three years ago, a long way away (relative to the UK), and to a place I'd never been to or even heard of.
The first night was a little nerve-wracking, but after that it was okay. I started with work, trying to be helpful there and make decent friends out of my colleagues while I was in the office. I started going out after work to the local pubs in my area, and just chilling at the bar or at a table with a drink. Eventually, I got talking to people - whether it was to borrow a lighter and then roll that into a conversation, give somebody a cigarette, or just answer a question that a small group were pondering out loud if I was nearby and it didn't seem creepy.
It's tough, I don't know if you drink or smoke, but pubs are always a good place to meet people, at least in the UK. One of the local pubs here runs a chess night, which is free, you don't even have to buy a drink, and there's a gaming cafe a little way down the road that runs all kinds of card game nights. You do have to pay to get into those but we always have strangers turn up and I've met some people who have become friends from there.
It's tough, though. You will face rejections, and you will have evenings where absolutely nothing goes right for you and you end up feeling defeated. I would say don't be too eager to make friends. Don't go out trying to make friends if you're having a particularly tough night either; it won't help. You want to be relaxed and comfortable. Bar staff are generally friendly too, at least in the UK.
Thanks for the comment, well haha I guess its easy to not to choose these proprietary enshittified sites and applications when I am not under peer pressure, suppose that's one great advantage of being lonely - I was suggested dating applications as well by an online friend and I was like hell no lol.
I don't drink nor smoke, I appreciate your perspective and advice!
Jesus, dating apps to make you feel less lonely? 😂
You don't have to drink or smoke at pubs! For event nights you can totally do it sober - I have been for nine months now ✌️ but best of luck to you!