Description: A five panel comic. In the first picture the main character leaves and a co-worker says "See ya, dude". In the second panel, the protagonist is in a supermarket and the cashier says "Hey man." In the third panel, the protagonist is on a train and someone on the phone says "Hello, sir." In the fourth panel, the protagonist enters an apartment and says "I' home." and is welcomed by a woman who rushes towards her and says "THERE she is!" The two of them hug in the fifth panel, while the woman says "How's my beautiful girlfriend doing??"
Art by Homunculus101
It depends.
Taking an honest look at your interactions, do you actually call cis women dudes? If so, I think that's fine. But I've encountered more than one person who says they use those terms gender-neutrally, but never or rarely just genuinely them toward cis women, as opposed to men and trans women.
In my own case I call both cis & trans women "guys" or "dudes" under specific male dominated contexts. Like during playing video games & pen and paper gaming.
This has always been fine except for recently there is a hiccup. My cousin has semi-recently begun transitioning, so whenever she's playing video games with me on my discord I kind of can't help but slow myself down (or end up correcting myself) when referring to her which I wouldn't do for a cis woman... Thus far they have not noted this as treatment differing what I might do for a cis woman because admittedly the cis women on my discord never jump in to play Battlefield or Killing Floor 1/2 anyways but it still makes me wonder if I'm helping or hurting the situation.
these arent actually male dominated contexts, women were just pushed out of spaces by men because misogyny. data has actually shown that more women play video games than men do
really saying any activity is a "male activity" is rooted in misogyny. the star trek fandom was mostly women when it started until men decided that girls werent allowed to like scifi :p
For me personally, that's the best i got, i only look for intentions. Was that, "Hey, dude" derogatory? Was it just a general "howdy"? Each is much more than just the word. It's about the inflection and emphasis. Pretty easy to tell when they are being intentionally rude.
I've used many tact to get around this. More than often it throws me off so much I'm genuinely flabbergasted. My look often works great if anyone else is around. Sometimes i just full on ignore them. Not even a head glance. Genuinely assume they are not speaking to you. Its a very hard sheild to weave. Once you learn the art of not reacting they are forced to bathe in the comment. Let it breath. Make them think about what they just said.
Still a 50/50 haha 😄
I actually do yeah.. thanks for reply
I call everyone "bro" and "dude" but only in the passive or collective sense. I don't say "my wife is a dude" but I do say "dude, what's up?" to my wife. It's just how I talk and she doesn't care.
But also I refer to people how they want to be referred to.
Yeah pretty much same
I think there's nothing to worry about, then! It's cool that you asked here.