this post was submitted on 05 Nov 2025
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20 is a baby. 30 is a newly adult person. actually turning 30 didn't do much for me but a delayed realization that I'm over 30 did wonders. I stopped feeling like a teenager who has to put up with drama, or the youngest person in the room who has to suffer people's bullshit for no reason. huge weight lift from the shoulders.
It's just hard because everyone in my life had achieved something by my age. Even my more "grown up" friends I've made recently are like 25 and looking to get married and buy a house.
I know comparison is the thief of joy, but it really feels like I've wasted my life.
marriage is not an achievement and there's a housing crisis. also looking to get something doesn't mean you're even close to getting it but whatever even if they did have those, it's not in any way an indictment on you.
marriage doesn't mean anything unless you have someone you want to be married to. the right time is when you're ready to do it and it makes sense, not a specific age. if you're a man, you're even more free to wait as the societal pressure (or biological, if one wants kids) isn't nearly as high as it is for women. not that it should be a deciding factor anyway for women but I'm just saying.
from what I've seen from people around me, being unmarried is infinitely better than marrying the wrong person.
take a breath, do right by yourself. 30 is ridiculously young to have "wasted your life". lots of people find themselves in their 30s. as it is usually a time you start getting your shit together, now you will have an opportunity to actually think about what you want to do and how to do it.