Selfhosted
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In terms of an optimal load spread, it's best if the lemmiverse is split into multiple equally sized instances. If you use an instance just for yourself, it doesn't actually decrease the load on the main servers in any way. The only thing you get is a guarantee that your instance won't suddenly go down.
I wanna self-host my own instance so I have more control over my data.
I'm going to self host my own instance so I can have a cool username
That's not completely true. Yeah, it still loads another server a bit, but the server-to-server federation traffic is much more lightweight than the client-to-server traffic that would be involved with you having an account on that server and accessing it that way.
But yeah, multiple, equally-sized communities on different instances is the ideal situation. The only sticky part right now is FOMO because you'd have to constantly watch for new SelfHosted communities and join them. Hopefully some frontend tools come along soon to make joining/managing multiple communities like that more streamlined.
Suddenly going down seems to be a constant in my self hosted services though...