this post was submitted on 27 Oct 2025
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Polyamory

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So I'm completely new to this and this is a recent self discovery, but I've been in a monogamous relationship for 18 years. I was married to him for 11 of those years, but a couple years ago, I started feeling trapped and was starting to fall for other people and we just stopped getting along for a while so I decided I wanted to call it off both for his sake and mine. I learned a lot about myself in the time we were separated and I'm still learning. We got divorced and then, after some time, I started falling for him again because we had both been working on ourselves and we were still on good terms, but now I have a problem. I'm falling for another guy while also loving my current partner. My current partner knows because I opened up to him about it, but he doesn't want me to pursue anyone else. He wants to stay monogamous and I understand that he's scared, but I feel like I've got a hole in my life. I love my partner, I love this life I have, but I have so much more to give and I wanna share this life with another. I don't really know what to do or how to stop feeling this way

(Update) I won't be responding to this anymore. I got a few helpful responses, but I'm tired of the people who think the worst of me for loving 2 people. Thank you to those who did help

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[โ€“] Zeke@fedia.io -3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

@surewhynotlem@lemmy.world So loving two people isn't polyamory? I don't understand where you got these ideas from.

[โ€“] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

My experience with breaking up with long term partners is that the rebound love you get after being apart for a while is temporary.

So I'm saying you don't love two people. You love one, and you're dependent on the other. But ymmv