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"Just" some highly specific VM settings, in the end. I don't know much about that, and terms like qemu don't mean anything to me so I followed blog posts until it worked. (This one and maybe this one, I think.) It's possible that it is actually trivial.
It's been a while, but I can look up what I have when you need it. Feel free to ping me!
Yes, it was exactly that: Once I got the NICs set up the way I wanted them it was a breeze and everything just works. And I really like that I made every part work myself, no magic. I learned a lot, and wouldn't have had I relied on Proxmox fiddling with the right parts for me.
Thanks for the links! I had no idea there were special settings needed