"Today, the USA introduced its new chocolate bar, priced at over $10. Made of 0% cocoa, hydrogenated corn syrup, and trans fats. No natural ingredients, no milk, no vanilla. It's bigly on flavor and very, very, tasty. We are taking pre-orders now at USAChocolate.gov."

[–] T00l_shed@lemmy.world 21 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Are you sure they would use TRANS fats?

[–] buttnugget@lemmy.world 6 points 10 months ago

Since the traitors actually cut funding for transgenic scientific study because they don’t know what trans means, this is in the realm of realistic. That’s where we’re at.

[–] Scott_of_the_Arctic@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago

They mean the rendered fat of the trans people they're planning to kill on an individual scale. Only half of that statement was a joke btw.

[–] rayyy@lemmy.world 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

The MAGA candy bar on a stick in a gold wrapper $49.99. On a stick because it is for suckers.

[–] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 10 months ago

on a stick because it is for suckers

Excellent.

[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago

If we're using the hersey model, it would be 50% castor oil, and 50% butyric acid.

[–] RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago

Oh, and it's gold. Not the wrapper, I mean, that is too, but the chocolate is a solid metallic gold color, like you are literally biting into a gold bar. It tastes nothing like chocolate.

[–] supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

HAHAHA and they say having healthcare makes you feel freedom

bites into injection molded PFAS chocolate bar

They have NO idea what freedom tastes like.

spits out chewed candy bar

The best part is if you get the app subscription you can refill the taste for the next time you chew on it!

[–] Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago

Oh god why did I read that as trump fats 🤮

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 2 points 10 months ago

I'm remembering an episode of Doug where they were trying to sell chocolate bars that nobody wanted, with the running gag of them still having last year's bar as a door stop and then at the end of the episode, we are shown that some random series of coicendences had a concrete mixer dumping concrete into the chocolate, explaining why they were so hard and heavy (and inedible).

I can't help but think Trump's chocolate would be the same, but the concrete is purposefully there and not just by accident.

[–] Gammelfisch@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

It must be packaged in a gold wrapper.