this post was submitted on 04 Jul 2025
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Tater tot: A good tater tot is like butter. Pure salt and crunch then melt in your mouth deliciousness.
Onion Rings: Good onion rings is technically better than tater tots, but the spectrum of bad to good onion rings is very wide.
Curly Fries: Curly Fries are hard to fuck up. I don't even think I've had a variation of curly fries. They're all the same to me, but they're so good.
Wedges: Wedges have a smaller spectrum than onion rings, but the ceiling is lower and they're hard to rank better than the ones ahead of them.
Shoestring: McDonalds
ZigZag: These can range from heavenly to straight fucking trash. Unfortunately they're too easy to turn into straight fucking trash. By that I mean you have to put more work into them to make them good as opposed to just salt and oven/fried. Might as well just try to fry some snow at that point.
Sweet Potato: I've had good sweet potato fries but I rarely get good sweet potato fries.
Waffle: I don't get these. They're ass. The only place that makes them kinda tolerable is Chik-Fila, but even then they're still ass to me. Can't even make them good at home without drowning them in salt and ketchup. I can slice up a potato and chuck them in the oven and get better results most of the time.
Edit for formatting. Apparently piefed, doesn't honor your numbering and turns it into 1, 2, 3, etc even if you go 8, 12, 3.
I nearly dismissed your review until you qualified your assessment of onion rings. I have transposed the order on those first two myself
They're close. I might give another answer depending on the day. The rest of the order I stand by.