this post was submitted on 29 Jun 2025
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I go to a therapist and she treats me like a five year old.
I can literally just read her basic CBT training online, its not hard to find.
Then I do the excercises at home.
CBT being basically the only kind of approach to therapy that is actually empirically shown to reliably actually help most people.
Oh, you're seeking an therapist qualified and specialized for high functioning autists?
There aren't any in the state anymore.
...
I also think that using ChatGPT as a therapist is a fucking horrible idea, but uh, therapy in America is expensive, and often shit quality, oh and they just hand out pills that you'll become dependent on, willy nilly, as opposed to trying everything else first and using that as a last resort.
Learning that as an acronym for cock and ball torture before the therapy version makes me laugh every time.
My experience with women therapists was always about how I just wasn't paying enough attention to other people when I pointed out that the people around me weren't consistent enough to figure out their patterns. My one therapist who was a man explained that most people are just better at handling it when they were wrong and it is fine to be wrong, plus he helped me get diagnosed with ADHD instead of telling me to just try harder. I'll bet there are some therapists who are women who are just as good as he was, but it became pretty clear that social norms are just as hard for people who specialize in behaviors to overcome.
This is a great example of the kinds of problems that can crop up.
Fish doesn't realize its swimming in water, kind of thing.
One approach is basically just gaslighting you:
The things that bother you and cause you trouble... well they just shouldn't, and you should be fine with that.
The other approach is.... you know, actually diagnostic, and can lead to... actually useful diagnosis, and thus more specified therapy and potentially other kinds of help.
As an autist, I've gone through many similar situations.
Sex/Gender independent... just 90% of therapists don't get it all. Always try to diagnose me with something else, and its different every time.
Doesn't matter that I've done the full RAADS V test and I'm basically off thr charts autistic, rofl.
Half of them have never even heard of it, don't know anything about how diagnosing or providing help to an autistic person works at all, tend to think all autists are low functioning with very severe, general social deficits.
Then I get stuck on ... well they will rephrsse what I just said, and say/ask it back to me, and I'll say no, no I phrased what I said specifically, because I meant exactly that.
Then I see in their notes later that I am 'arguementative' or 'agitated' or 'aggressive'... far, fsr more often if its a woman psych/soc worker/counselor who I am... not even 'correcting', just trying to not have them put words in my mouth.
Men tend to be less intimidated and more open to my insistance that I meant exactly what I said... and I am talking in the same voice, same mannerisms, same everything, with everyone.
Some women get it, most don't, some men get it, most don't.
... But the field is vastly disproportionately populated with women.
So the end result for a lot of guys is... hey look, another woman that isn't really listening to me.
they're checking their own understanding by giving you an opportunity to correct them. by rephrasing it identically, it doesnt build any new understanding.
does it not matter to you to be understood by others? maybe that's why you're bashing therapy on the internet, asking for CBT worksheets instead of building rapport, and indirectly praising relationships with LLMs?
Yes, I understand the purpose of doing that... but they will rephrase it with different words, different meanings, leave out qualifiers, or add in qualifiers, etc.
Many times, the rephrasing doesn't change the meaning, and I agree, no problem.
But sometimes, specific wording or phrasing matters greatly.
I've found this is a concept many neurotypicals generally struggle with, that you can't always just reform a sentence into something easier to parse... because that can lose complexity and precision, and I am trying to convey something complex and precise.
And more often, when I object to my words being reformed... it is women who view my objection as aggressive, agitated, rude, hostile, combatative, etc.
Broadly, I am well understood by most of the people I interact with.
Other than people clumsily trying to psychoanalyze me, and manipulative sociopath/narcissist types.
So no, I do not generally worry about my communication skills, as I have no problem communicating with the vast majority of people.
...
For instance... I am aware that I am often rather verbose, and tend to ramble... thats actually a sign that I feel comfortable, and trust whoever I am talking to.
I am also aware that this can be verbally, conversationally overwhelming with people who think it is rude to interrupt.
So I just tell people, hey, i have a tendency to ramble, I will not be offended at all if you interject and politely tell me to shut it, refocus, try to summarize, etc, when I am obviously rambling to tangential topics, or just telling a long story or something.
And this works very well with people who can gather the... courage? to do this, as I genuinely do not find it offensive.
But with people who are for whatever reason so timid that even after I've given them explicit permission to interrupt me... they still don't actually do it... well, they tend to be frustrated with me, overwhelmed.
Normally, thats fine, I don't need to be everyone's friend.
But when its someone who I basically have little or no choice but to communicate with that particulsr person... yes, this can lead to problems.
So for starters, I quite explicitly said that I think using LLMs for therapy is a 'fucking horrible idea', I just didn't expand on that as much... as to me this is fairly self evident and obvious.
So we now see that you are... doing the thing.
You are putting words in my mouth, because what I specifically said was evidently too complex for you to fully parse, and now you've reformulated it into a bastardized form that is actually contradictory to what I said.
Your poor reading comprehension skills are not my problem.
...
Secondly... I am not bashing therapy broadly, I think it is a great concept when well executed and easily accessible.
CBT in particular is more than just a set of paperwork... it is often very helpful to have a therapist use CBT methods, guidr someone through it in person.
I have been to a good number of therapists who've used CBT methods and they have been quite helpful... I am trying to say that I just needed a refresher, a paper copy, and after that, its been like getting back on a bicycle, I remember my training, lol.
...
Also as far as building rapport: I don't really care to, as I am currently in a relatively temporary living situation, month to month rent, and I fully plan on moving to somewhere with more robust social safety nets and a better mental health support system, public transit system, etc, as soon as I am able, as soon as my PT has been effective enough that I am cleared by my PT team.
As I already mentioned... there are literally no therapists in the state I am currently in, via the health insurancd I can even barely afford... that are qualified and specialized to help an adult with autism.
Not sure where you are, but in the US broadly, there are hardly any psychologists or therapists that are properly qualified to treat high functioning adults with autism.
They are rare, expensive, and have huge waitlists.
I'm in a quite poor red state at the moment, with no highly reputable schools or psychology departments.
Here, autism = you're retarded, and its only ever evaluated as a 'disability' affecting children.
... So my plan is to try to get to where some actual civilization and professionals exist, and to the greatest extent possible, avoid useless or harmful advice from overconfident and untrained specialists who have to pull out the DSM V to understand a reference I am making.
Seems rational to me?