this post was submitted on 01 Jun 2025
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I totally get the joke, and Pedro can only be a good thing (huge fan, pray daily that he adopts me). But I do understand why some men would find it insulting. What's your thoughts?

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[–] Arkhive@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Yeah I see what you’re saying. Agree even! (Also autistic so tone, and missing points and stuff like that, I also struggle) I am also here primarily to learn, not preach.

The only thing I’m pondering is your point about guns being a tool, not doing the killing themselves. I think that’s interesting. Like it’s an application of the saying “guns don’t kill people, people kill people.” So the metaphor breaks down when the “treat every gun like it’s loaded” is applied to men. The only twist I’ll maybe add is that men are the gun and patriarchal capitalism is the person wielding it? Like men have been so conditioned by the ruling class, but I’m not going to really dig into my personal politics here, just seeing if that helps blend the two approaches.

Like I do not think every individual man is responsible for the lack of safety women understandably feel around men. I think “the system” is responsible for that, but it’s going to take active work on the part of men to undo that, otherwise it just functions as them playing along with it.

The crossing the street thing is interesting. This gets brought up in trans masc circles semi regularly. Trans men talking about hitting a point in passing where women cross the street to avoid them, and the discussion often comes down to, “I’m sad about it, but I get it, men suck.” I think the amount of societal healing that needs to happen for things like that to shift is immense. Basically I’m not sure exactly what is different, if anything.

I don’t think I really took a particular stance in this post, just kind of dropped info I have that’s loosely related to what we were chatting about…

Idk if I’m still making sense. Words are hard.

[–] oxideseven@lemmy.ca 6 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Yeah. You're making a lot of sense.

At the end of the day I don't have the answers or solutions sadly just more questions and doubts.

I fully understand why we use the language we do and the mass generalization and I hate it. Subtilty doesn't get points across most of the time and hyperbolic arguments do and that also sucks.

You make such a great point with society meeting SO SO MUCH healing. I guess I just have this wish we would all just be better to each other and take people as they come. But then I see how you do that and surprise that one IS a bad person...

Just feel like we're racing to the bottom. :(

[–] Arkhive@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 5 days ago

Oof yeah. The race to the bottom is real :(