TransLater

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A community for trans folk who transitioned or are transitioning later in life.

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ada@lemmy.blahaj.zone

Advice on starting the journey? (beehaw.org)

submitted 2 weeks ago by justme@beehaw.org to c/translater@lemmy.blahaj.zone

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Hi, everyone! I’m at the very beginning of my journey, having only recently cracked my egg and realized I’m trans. I’m still mostly closeted, having only come out to my wife, a few select friends, and my therapist. My biggest concerns thus far are centered around my wife and our son (about to be entering middle school next year).

I have no doubts about who I am and who I want to be, but I’m not really sure how to move forward in a way that minimizes the upheaval for them. My wife is cis and has always considered herself straight, so she’s unsurprisingly having some difficulty with labels and fears for the future, though she’s also trying to be supportive. But she’s also feeding into some of my own fears, and stressing the potential impact not only on our lives, but on our son, too. She’s also repeatedly expressed concerns that I’m going to want to move faster than what she’s comfortable with (even if that’s not fast at all).

Anyone who’s been through similar on their journey, I’d love to hear your perspective and how you managed to handle it to continue on your journey. I know I’m not alone, but it’s a challenge and any suggestions on how to avoid pitfalls are more than welcome!

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[–] captainjaneway@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

In my experience, my wife flip flops a bit between accepting and feeling sad about it. Sometimes our conversations are similar to yours: practical, forward thinking, assuming I'll transition, etc. Other times, our conversations are more reflective, sadder, concerned about the future, uncertain about my transition, etc. We've decided to put a pause on conversations about it. As you can see from my post history, I'm still leaning towards HRT, but I'm running into a lot of insurance blockers that make it difficult. I'm now considering the DIY route, but it's kinda complicated looking. Not too bad, but it requires learning a lot of stuff I was hoping my doctors would figure out for me.

I hope your journey goes well! I'll probably be on this community fairly frequently over the coming months.

[–] justme@beehaw.org 2 points 1 week ago

I wouldn’t be shocked to run into insurance issues myself. What a time to be alive -_-

There’s definitely still a lot of back and forth with my wife, and some days being better than others, but she wants to keep talking about. I’m choosing to look at that as a positive sign.

I’m so thankful for this community, I’m sure I’ll be checking in a lot, too!