this post was submitted on 26 May 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Allero@lemmy.today 22 points 2 days ago (3 children)

That calls for a monkey's paw

  1. There's literally no more fat in your body. Your cells burst, you die immediately.
  2. You're not able to gain weight, but you still lose it. Every time you sweat, breathe out, go to the restroom - you lose weight. In a matter of month or two, you die from exhaustion.
  3. Now you can't buy groceries and really anything you want or need and are forever reliant on others to provide you with anything you didn't yourself produce.
  4. The height increase is achieved by all your organs instantly extending, causing internal injuries and disabilities and now many physical stresses can kill you.
  5. You're so strong you cannot adequately measure it, and have to be very careful not to break everything around you.
  6. You're always happy. You're never able to grieve, or reflect, or do anything. You've lost any reason to progress, or even really sustain yourself. You die in bliss on the streets.
  7. Followers are invading all of your personal life. They doxx you, follow you everywhere, try to document every moment of your existence. You cannot have peace and solitude ever again.
  8. You forgot your ex. You also forgot every good moment in your life you ever had together, and are left wondering what is that void in your brain. You will never know what happened. But someone, somewhere out there who is your ex will.
  9. Inflation came strong, and now everyone has millions upon millions of dollars. Too bad they're only worth a few rolls of toilet paper.
[–] JcbAzPx@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

There are people who cannot grow or simply don't have any fat cells. It's a surprisingly debilitating condition, but you don't immediately die from it.

[–] Allero@lemmy.today 4 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Fats are a normal component of any cell membrane, and if we're talking no fats whatsoever, there would be no membrane to speak of.

It's not just about the storage cells.

[–] Kuma@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

This is what I thought too when I read them, the last one (money) was the only one I didn't see any problems with. It made me think about the post about picking a superpower and the first comment was your side effect for using it but this was the other way around, pick your side effect haha

[–] Enzy@lemm.ee 3 points 2 days ago

Oh definitely 1 then