this post was submitted on 26 May 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] wolframhydroxide@sh.itjust.works 18 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

1 is the monkey's paw answer and a trap. Fat is necessary for survival. Fats literally make up the outside of every cell in your body.

2 is still dangerous, because it might just be tapeworm eggs.

Is 3 just a servant who shops for you? Or is it just that you are no longer addicted to compulsive shopping?

4 Will cause you the most agonizing pain of your life as virtually every bone and muscle gets ripped apart and re-knit, and as someone who's 6'4, it has its upsides, but having literally everything made for people shorter than you REALLY sucks, from doorways and light fixtures, even to rollercoasters which nearly remove your legs because of awful design (or just won't close over your shoulders)

5 is nice. Go with 5. It'll be painful, but potentially worth it in a pinch, as long as it also grants you control of that strength.

6 is another trap, since small amounts of stress are actually really important, and in order to be constantly happy, your brain would lose the ability to feel it unless it continually increased the dopamine drip. Eventually, you would kill for the ability to stop.

7 I mean, sure, if that's what you want. Would be nice to know what kind of followers? Are they going to be religious and try to pull a Life of Brian on you?

8 is the worst, because you have no control over the extent of the memory wipe. This is existentially terrifying

9 is the safest, but then you go and read that post about why winning the lottery means you're fucked.

The surefire safest calls are probably 9, 7, and 3, since they wouldn't actually affect your body, unless you're the kind of person who likes playing roulette with the sort of pills you get for free on the street.

[–] renamon_silver@lemmy.wtf 5 points 3 days ago (1 children)

2 would eventually kill you, just more slowly than 1. Unless you never forget to eat and are always able to.

[–] AA5B@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

How. Two is just don’t gain weight. It doesn’t say anything about losing weight or about healthy nutrition. For those of us with a tendency to gain, this is all positive.

My most pressing health concern under my control is my weight. As an adult already overweight, I would be very happy to at least never weigh more than I do now

[–] chatokun@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 days ago

Check your weight in the morning then later in the day. It always fluctuates, with your overnight fast/ not drinking water making you lose some weight if you couldn't gain any but could still lose weight, you'd eventually wither away.

[–] Mojtaba@lemm.ee 5 points 3 days ago

Umm well i didn't need the 1 and 2 and 3 so i was about to take 7 9 5 but after seeing that i am scared to even choices anything