this post was submitted on 25 May 2025
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Hello!

Making this post to check in on other asexual spectrum people. Curious how attraction works for you?

Recently discovered the term "side" and feel that fits well. Always felt obligated for penetrative sex, liked servicing but awkward when things done to me.

Been with men and women. Recently with someone could not be more my type but could not perform. Twice. Wanted to (or so I thought) but it was wanting to be a people pleaser.

When it clicked. Dont like sex. Enjoy things around it, watching partner reactions,kissing, cuddling, performing oral, but actual? It feels like pulling teeth.

Searched and searched and this seems to be a hard Google. 🤷

What prompted me to make this post.

Asexual people what has been your journey of self acceptance? How does attraction works for you? How have partners been about understanding it?

Thanks for the responses.

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[–] magic@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 week ago

My journey has been an interesting pipeline of thinking I'm bisexual because "everyones pretty!", then doing the same with lesbianism, then realizing that oh, y'all were just aesthetically pleasing. I have no interest in anyone sexually. I also have no interest in romance, other than to lament could'ves and what-ifs at the idea of trusting another human enough to be embraced by them.

With my sexuality/gender, I got the triple A grade. Aroace, anorgasmic, and agender. Woohoo!