this post was submitted on 23 Apr 2025
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What am I supposed to do? "Oh, hey, yeah, so, I just held my cat in my arms as he died. I had to euthanize him because he was had congestive heart failure, and was slowly drowning from pulmonary edema. I miss him so much, and I want to believe that he's in a better place, but he's just dead and gone, and I'm never gonna see him again. All I've got are memories, and they're going to fade with time until one day I realize that I haven't thought about him in years. But yo, how are you doin'? Any big plans for the weekend?"
You get up, and keep doing the shit you have to do, because it needs to get done. Telling people you're really depressed tends to make them feel really awkward, they don't know what to say, and then they gradually start ghosting you. Shit sucks, but you put a happy face on because no one wants to know that you aren't happy.
If you're THAT emotional over a pet dying you need professional help man.
Im not trying to diminish your feelings, I'm sorry my dude, I feel for you I really do, but you shouldn't really spiral into a deep depression over a pet.
You obviously have some other shit going on that would make you react that way and therapy will really help, not just with the grieving but understanding yourself.
Edit: just read your other comment. Yeah dude I really hope you are getting the help you need, and I can see how this would make you spiral. Im going through a break up myself rn, so I empathize the pain you felt before. I'm taking meds myself and trying to get through it as I had those same ideations.
You ever need to vent my dude DM me.
My divorce was nine years ago. I got remarried a whopping five days after my divorce (...because that was the statutory minimum time; my ex-spouse had dragged their feet so long with a divorce they initiated that I'd had three serious relationships, met someone, gotten proposed to, and was ready to get married before the divorce was complete). I can say without reservation that my current partner is leaps and bounds better than my ex-partner. I've long ago accepted that many people that said they were friends were not friends, even if it still sticks in my throat. In the time since my divorce, I've lost an average of 1.1 cats per year, and it never gets easy to hold someone that's been a friend and companion for over a decade as they take their last breath.
Am I okay? I'm as okay as I ever get. I've been through therapy multiple times, and I'd probably still go to therapy if insurance was affordable.
Do I have friends? Not really. If I make plans with people too far in advance, they forget and make other commitments. If I try to make plans too late, they're already booked. It's possible that I'm simply unlikeable; I tend to lean that way.
My only point was that, anecdotally, this is the experience that a lot of men have when they try to be emotionally vulnerable and honest with their male friends. Perhaps Gen Z isn't getting this kind of shit; maybe they're able to be more emotional. I kind of doubt it though, because young Gen Z men are trending far more conservative than Millennials, and conservatism isn't friendly towards emotional intimacy among men. I hope that they do better than my generation did.
This lacks insight and empathy. It reeks of sympathy.
You're right, I'm being very disingenuous