this post was submitted on 11 Apr 2025
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Couldn't agree more, but if you think about it...
I wish we could all come together from all gender identities, nationalities, political affiliations, social strata, educational background, skin color, hair color, favorite music style and belief system and just accepted that while circumstances are different for every one of us, there are a few really bad people, a few really good people and a lot of people that just need to feel like they belong to something in all of those dimensions.
But I guess if we did that, how would the really bad people get their votes or money from us?
I hope toxic men stop being toxic and I'm sorry to everyone that has ever been hurt by a toxic man.
Kinda sad and ironic, that the term “toxic masculinity” began as a way to describe how culture manufactures a harmful concept of what it means to be a man, and it seeps into men and damages them like a toxin… but now we use it to mean that the man himself is toxic, undermining the whole notion of thinking of the problem as systemic rather than one of individuals.
Anyway, patriarchy is absolutely demolishing men right now, and the political right is saying “women’s fault” while the left is saying “lmao skill issue”. If we don’t get our shit together and start treating this seriously, we’re gonna have big problems.
The problem with the term "toxic masculinity" is what exactly can we describe as "positive" masculinity? Is masculinity only toxic, or are there positive things that aren't feminine?
Considering what is "masculine" is a societal construct, so the things I can think of are like: holding the door open for others, walking with people positioning yourself by the road, those sorts of "if something happens, I hope my charred corpse keeps my loved one alive" morbid acts, or in general putting yourself last on purpose.
I am of the belief that masculinity and femininity are social constructs, but that they are also not only social constructs and nothing else.
There's a lot of interesting work around this in studies/interpretations around Jungian archetypes. Structure, courage, strength, independence, rationality, leadership and assertiveness are virtues/traits that are generally (but not exclusively) associated to masculinity. Charm, empathy, collaboration, compassion, humility, intuition, sensitivity, beauty, style and introspection are typically associated to the feminine (but not exclusively).
In essence, i read somewhere (i think an old Tarot book iirc), that which is masculine imposes and confronts, while that which is feminine contains and nurtures. Seemed to make sense, to me anyway.
edit: A quick clarification is that these are typically, at least under the Jungian and broad oriental notions, not considered mutually excluding opposites, just polarizing forces. Like broad, vague and intersecting maps of associations. The Ying Yang symbol illustrates this well. Each side has a part of the other side within itself, and each one needs the other in order to exist.
So... chivalry?
You folk should really check out Jung.
I don't know why you're describing my mother as masculine but she apologises