this post was submitted on 10 Apr 2025
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Don't mind me, got to get some Geta:

*ANGRY CARACALLA NOISES*...seriously, "Caracalla was fucked up" is an understatement. He killed his brother Geta in the front of their mother. Then he had the Senate trying to remove Geta from history - erasing his name and getting rid of any depiction that they could. (Some stuff survived because come on, this sort of primitive system like dictatorship/emperorship isn't exactly known for being efficient.)
A good example of that is this family portrait:

Mum Iulia Domna, dad Septimius Severus, Geta with the face removed, ~~cheap Geta knock-off~~ Caracalla. ...and the face wasn't just removed, someone smeared literal shit on the vacant space.
My favorite Caracalla story is him trying to kill his dad in full fucking view of the army, and pussing out when Septimius Severus turned around.
Then his dad calls him into his tent in private, tosses him a sword, and basically tells Caracalla if he wants to play assassin, now's the time - and Caracalla pusses out again.
Infinite viciousness against the helpless, but couldn't look a man in the eyes as he killed him. What a piece of work.
Here we are - from Cassius Dio:
If this history is accurate (we know how things go, when it comes to old events), Caracalla was perhaps the biggest piece of shit among all emperors. All of them, including Caligula and Nero. That's some feat.