this post was submitted on 11 Mar 2025
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me_irl
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Sorry sir we can't accept cash unless you have an account on file, may i get your address, phone number, email, occupation, social security number, mothers maiden name, and an emergency contact? You'll have to sign our terms and conditions to make an account. We also need 2 credit cards on file in case the cash turns out to be counterfit. Please read our newsletter and fill out the survey for a a chance to win a $5 gift voucher valid until the end of the month.
I once made a cashiers head nearly explode by refusing to give her a phone number over the counter to pay cash for a shirt.
"But I need it!"
"No, you really dont."
"The system wont allow the sale without it"
"So enter a bunch of random numbers, I dont care"
"I cant do that"
"Why?"
"Because then some random person will get texts from us."
"Ok"
"So can I just..."
"Nope. I exchange money for shirt, thats how this works."
"Ummmmmm" Smoke starts pouring from ears
"why would someone burn down our store?"
Don’t forget fingerprints. And rectal striation biometrics.