Medical Professionals
This is a community for physicians, PAs, NPs, Nurses, Paramedics, EMTs, CNAs, LPNs, students of medical disciplines, and folks interested in joining the field.
Rules: 1. No discrimination, bigotry, intolerance, or harassment allowed. Instances of such behavior will be deleted, and users with multiple offenses will be banned.
2. Please do not post personal medical questions here. Case reports for discussion are fine, but if you're looking for medical advice, you should consult a physician IRL. If you are trying to figure out what kind of specialist to go to, post a comment to the pinned post.
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4. Be rad to each other. This field is rough enough as it is, no need to tear each other down. If you have a critical opinion of something, present your arguments as critique of policies or practices in a respectful manner. (e.g. discussions about scope of practice for APPs)
5. PLEASE REPORT THINGS THAT BREAK THE RULES! (At the moment, there is one of me, and I am a medical student with pudding for brains and slim to none in the way of free time [yay clinicals!], so help me out here :D)
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Boards are hard for a reason. It means a lot of people fail, even if they know their shit.
Ask her to imagine that she has three unsuccessful surgeries. It happens, people die, and sometimes you fail as a doctor. Would she give up? Failure doesn't make her a bad doctor, but giving up does.
It sucks right now. She feels terrible, and those feelings are valid. But her value as a doctor, as a person, is not a score on some test. That's just the gate she needs to open, and it's going to take more time and effort.
Take time to mourn this loss, and when she's ready to start studying again, back her up 100%. Believe that she will pass, because there's a patient out there who needs her brain and her hands to live. When they write her biography, this will be a character-building tidbit that demonstrates her resilience.
Also keep in mind, she may well want to give up. There's no shame in moving on with your life if she doesn't want to be a doctor anymore. Let her know that you love her for who she is, not for the letters after her name. You'll be there no matter what, whether she takes the exams 10 more times or if she decides to never take them again. Both paths are hard, and you're along for either. Find out where she wants to end up, and the path ahead becomes obvious.
Source: I am a med school dropout.
Thanks for the reassurance and wisdom, @[email protected]. I fully admit that a large part of wanting to write is my own anxiety and feeling helpless about something that I cannot control. I also want her to press on, likely falling victim to the sunk cost fallacy (given that I’ve spent most of the childcare effort during residency and the first two years out of residency). But I’ll try to double down on my support regardless of the decision.
I take it you’ve landed on your feet after leaving medicine, albeit a bit sooner in the process than my wife?