this post was submitted on 27 May 2024
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SO: my head hurts
Me: (pick any1) Where in the head? Any reason why? Did you hit something? Anything that might have caused it so we can buy some medicine or I can cook you something or whatever?
SO: idk, it just hurts, imma lie down.
SO: I'm cold, I'm gonna take a hot shower.
Me: have you tried wearing bulkier clothes? A blanket?
SO: no. takes the third shower of the day $$
Me (later that day or in another day): force them to wear more clothes and throw a blanket at them in their chair
SO: oh, this is nice uses the blanket every day now
Me: How was your day?
SO: Bad.
Me: Anything out of the ordinary that you want to share to share the pain?
SO: No, its just bad.
Me: Do you want to watch anything, eat anything special?
SO: imma lie down.
Sorry but no, i know that they aren't vague intentionally but they are not clear at all when expressing their needs.
Sometimes they are too exhausted to express their emotions and it's not worth it for them, so they'd rather just deal with it on their own
This wording bothers me. Friends / partners who think that it's "not worth it" to tell a minimal amount of detail about what is wrong/what happened so that I can possibly provide help or compassion, stabs me in the heart. I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU DUMBASS NOW TALK SHAKES THEM VIOLENTLY
If they don't feel well, they might not want to answer comprehensive questions. Just reading that feels like an interrogation.
Of course that it seems an interrogation of you imagine me saying all those questions one after each other. That's just how I phrased the question. The problem is that they simply used to not express their needs and wants before they got to the point where they just couldn't do it. Mind you, this was way before they started going to therapy and they are getting way better at expressing their needs and wants now so that they don't break down too often.