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I am finally in a position to have hardware running at home without it bothering anyone, so I cobbled together the hardware peaces I thrifted for over the years.
I played around with Proxmox and lxc containers, which are awesome, but not really useful for my usecase. I currently needed the essentials to get started and to finally have some kind of backups.
So TrueNAS scale it is. I got the ACLs down quickly, so the built in apps are no problem. But some things are not suited to be run as a built in app, I found. To avoid these headaches, I created an ubuntu server vm and a network bridge to allow for host access, and spun up those containers there.
I went for too little storage on the vm in the begiining (10G) so of course it filled up to the brim in a day. So I had to learn how to extend an lvm. Which worked only after I made some space available. It was so full, even mkdir failed.