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First, thanks everyone for all the info, glad I posted. It's a lot to go through.
OpenWRT is the most frequently recommended thing here, and my router is not supported. I somewhat recently purchased my router (Asus AX6600) when I switched to fiber due to its high bandwidth and I'd prefer to not replace it. I'll look around and see what options I have for putting a separate device upstream of my current hardware and if that doesn't work out then maybe I'll replace my current router.
I see that you can install openwrt on a switch. Would it make sense to put a switch with openwrt upstream of my current router/AP?
Edit: dang there's only 1 switch supported by openwrt that has 10 gbps ports (ZyXEL XGS1250-12)
You can install OpenWRT on tons of hardware, or any generic PC. I'd suggest that over *sense distros any day because it's just more user friendly.