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If you're being for real, see a doctor. You most likely have sleep apnea, it's way more common than people think and infrequently diagnosed. The doctor will probably set you up to do a sleep study, which is far less troublesome than it used to be a number of years ago. Before they would have you go into a facility, strap you into all their probes and monitors and sensors, and then you attempt sleep there while someone monitored you throughout most of the night. These days, they send you home with a little finger clamp and you can do your normal routine. You drop it off the next morning and then you get your results like a week later.
As troublesome as it is being on sleep therapy with CPAP, the quality of sleep I get now that I'm on it and used to it is night and day better. I sleep soundly throughout the whole night, I have vivid dreams again, I don't wake up to pee at 3am anymore, and I don't get headaches or migraines anymore when I sleep in on weekends. Most of all, I'm not nodding off during the day or getting road delirium/drowsy driving which is what drove me to seek help in the first place.
Couldn't have said it better myself! 👍