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Yup. The crushing weight of the meaningless of everything is something the human brain, society, and religions has evolved to studiously avoid.
We are able to navigate the world pretty well with our head full of fictions, and it is only occasionally when reality will give us a challenge, which we can accept, ignore, or accomodate.
Then there's the psychological extremes to experience. Derealization and depersonalization are when people feel like they are characters in a video game, just following rules in an artificially constructed landscape. This sensation can be caused by trauma, but it can also be caused by existential unmooring. I think the general phenomenological category is "disassociation," if you want to look into it.
I also recommend Britt Hartley's YouTube Channel, No Nonsense Spirituality, since she had a psychotic break on her way through religious deconstruction and talks about intimately grappling with the nature of reality.
I think that reality is inherently meaningless and any apparent inherent meaning is a strong push from biology or culture.
It's like our native reality is not physical or biological but epistemological. our native reality is a space of dreams and meanings.
maybe we're aliens from a vastly different universe. stranded here. trying to recreate our home world.
Yup. That's existentialism for you. Whether or not there is a purpose to your life, you're here. So what do you do if you can't return to the womb of make-believe?
This is the single best video I've seen on the subject, especially if the whole thing is getting you down.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpOEZWCZKNg
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SG4cec5cR78&pp=ygUgaW52aXNpYmxlIGxpZ2h0IHNjaXNzb3JzIHNpc3RlcnM%3D